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Posts Tagged ‘young’

21 sounds young, but to me I feel like I’m getting old, especially since I’m a senior in college this year. It doesn’t matter how many people tell me  that there’s plenty of fish in the sea, that it will happen when I least expect it. Sure, maybe it will. Still, that never seemed to help me.

But I think I was going about it all wrong.

God put it in our hearts to want love, to want marriage. Marriage will be a beautiful thing, a day to celebrate the joining of two families into one. I find myself skimming through Pinterest engagement pictures, thinking about that moment when he pops out a ring, how he’ll get down on one knee.

I’ve looked at wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses, where we would want the reception, types of flowers and decorations. I’ve thought about those steps down the aisle, not being able to see anyone but him waiting for me.

I look at guys in my life, guys I like, and begin trying on their last names. I imagine honeymoon locations, and buying our first house. I imagine the private things that happen on honeymoons. I imagine tailgate parties, motorcycle rides, and picnics in the park as husband and wife. Sometimes I rub my stomach and think about experiencing that first kick, the excitement of seeing a baby we made even after the pain.

If I have a daughter, I hope to name her Natalie; if a son, I hope to name him Ethan. I’ve thought about what I’d decorate the baby room into, about having a summer cabin by a lake where we could take family vacations. I’ve thought about teaching my kids patience through fishing and hard work by feeding the calves and pulling weeds in the garden. I’d hope my daughter to be a volleyball player like I was. I would love to have a son on the football team.

I’ve thought it all, I’ve read it all. Most experience something of the sort, some don’t.

But then I have to remember something: my priority has never been marriage. My priority has always been God. I have even told myself that in my relationship God will always come first, so why do I have it in my head that I need to find someone before I spend the rest of my life alone? 

A part of me loves being alone. Lately I haven’t had enough time to myself, and I’m someone who needs “me time” if I’m going to survive being with people all the time. I love seeing my friends and family and just people in general, but, for me, there really is such a thing as too much people-time.

For me, to read, write, do summer school homework, play guitar, listen to music without having to participate in conversation; these things I need to do alone. When I was in Italy, I was with people every single day and never really just went for a walk by myself or sat in my bed reading what I wanted to read. I wanted to be in the lounge hanging out with people because I knew my time was limited and I wanted to see them all as much as I could.

But what I seem to keep forgetting, what I think we all forget, is that all of us need time alone. Some need it more than others, but you can’t really reflect unless you give yourself some space from the things that distract you. Since I’m single, I’ll get more “me time” than I will once I get a real full-time job, a boyfriend/husband, and kids. Once my life starts with someone else, my life will be devoted to them. However, right now, I get to devote myself to simple things that I love. This may be the most time I’ll ever get to work on writing my books, and that doesn’t even feel like much time at all.

At the end of the day, yes, I’m single. But I’m also using that time to work towards the things that God has me here to do. Right now, I don’t have a boy to distract me from my writing. I know with every part of my being that God has stories He wants me to share with the world, and He chose me to write them for Him. God is all I’ve ever needed, and I will always seek His Kingdom first. A relationship with a man will always come in second to my relationship with God.

God really is enough, and I hope if you don’t know that already, that you will come to realize it as well 🙂

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Patience can suck. Sometimes the people you need to be patient with the most, are the people you want to go jump down a well. But sometimes you need to let things go. If you know that no one is perfect, then you have to remember that they aren’t either. Just because you aren’t their biggest fan, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cut them some slack.

I, for one, have pretty horrible road rage. Unless I’m having a really good day, I am annoyed with everyone that is either too slow, too fast, rides my bumper, has brights on…the usual. I have had quite the mouth with other cars if it’s a bad day.

But then there are days that I find myself doing the SAME THINGS that the others drivers did that annoyed me; whether it’s because I went into a day dream and did’t realize that I was slowing down, because I was late for something so I sped up, I forgot I had my brights on until I was almost passing the other car, road people’s bumpers when I wanted them to speed up.

Sometimes the things that annoy you about others, are things that every now and then YOU might do too. Maybe you don’t, but try to see where they are coming from. Maybe they don’t know it annoys you, maybe that’s just who they are. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean that their others friends mind it.

You don’t have to LIKE everyone, but you should try to somewhat respect those you can. You  don’t even know everything about some of your friends, so you don’t know what kind of life/day others are coming from.

If there are people that drive you nuts, maybe just get some space for a bit. If puzzles make you want to rip apart the box, then don’t do puzzles. You know you’re strengths and weaknesses, or at least you learn them as you go. Everyone has limits. Find yous, and you will save yourself a couple tears and worry lines.

Patience is a virtue. There has to be something you are patient with.

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