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Posts Tagged ‘worry’

Across the room from me, there are 36 pink, heart-shaped post-its pressed against the wall, though some curl at the edges like crippling flowers. These little notes are my room’s version of a photo album. For some people, pictures are some of the most important memories because they are able freeze a moment onto a sheet so they can relive it in their minds later.

Scribbled onto these post-its on the wall are quotes my roommates and I have said to each other that we’ve found humorous. This kind of memory is able to capture a personality. Whether it’s an opinion about something or someone, a whitty remark, a miscommunication or ignorance about something that makes us laugh is a way for us to remember each other and smile.

Memory can sometimes feel like a curse, but to remember things like your adventures into new places, your failures that became lessons, your loved ones whose bodies now shrink in boxes underneath marble nametags is a gift.

Memories become pillows and chocolate on the days you wish life wasn’t such a pain in the ass. Those moments in those pictures will never be lived again, or at least not in the same way; just as those moments on our post-its will never be relived except in our minds.

So when opportunities arise, take the chance to make some memories that you’ll want to remember. I’m almost 22, and already I have done and seen so much that it excites me to no end to think that this is only the beginning. Fear and worry are your enemies. They will do nothing for you, so don’t welcome them. Try new things, go to new places before you tire out and don’t have the energy to go anymore. Already I feel more tired than I felt even a year ago.

As addicting as Facebook is, it’s not going to do much for you. Of all the things you post on Pinterest, how many are you actually going to do/make/look at again? Trust me, I have these problems too. But remember how precious time is. Take your lazy day when you need it, follow the rules so you don’t get fired, but there is so much life in the trees just outside your door, and we have a tendency to use that time to sprawl on the couch and watch a second movie we’ve already seen. Even in your priorities, there’s life and excitement that you haven’t noticed. Never lose your sense of adventure, of wonder, of a love for life, for people, and for God. Let your mind be as free as that of a child.

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Everyone is a book on a shelf. 

But you’re not just a book. You’re a specific book on a specific shelf in a specific part of the library. 

I’m a waitress, and there are a few ladies who have worked at my restaurant for over twenty years. I have a tendency to get annoyed of the job by the end of the week. Sometimes I worry that I’m going to be stuck there for the rest of my life. But then I feel guilty for thinking that that would be a bad thing. At least I have a job. I have money to buy groceries every week and a new shirt every once and a while. But I tend to think of my job as something towards the bottom of the food chain. But when I take a step back, it’s not. A waitress is needed as much as anything else.

Notice how when the snow clings to trees, only a certain amount of snowflakes can catch the branches and hang on. The rest fall to the ground. Imagine those snowflakes as people. Only a certain number accomplish their dreams and stick to the branches on different levels. The rest fall to the bottom and get lost in the hills of snow. They find jobs as waitresses, janitors, bus drivers, cashiers. . .

Sometimes we tend to think of those bottom jobs as the lowly jobs. “Why would you want to do that for the rest of your life?” But just because I won’t be a lawyer, doctor, or scientist, doesn’t mean I can’t contribute something. Maybe I won’t end up being the writer I hope to be. Maybe the most I’ll accomplish is win a short story contest after losing twenty others. Besides, without that bottom snow, what would we use for snowball fights? For snowmen? What would we use to snowboard on? To snowmobile on?

Everyone is needed in this walk of life. You may not own the restaurant, but people are needed to serve the food. Without janitors, everything would dust and mold. Without bus drivers, those who don’t have a car wouldn’t be able to get around. 

I am in the middle of reading 1 Corinthians, and I came to chapter 12:12-31 that has a heading called “On Body, Many Parts.” I will quote a few of these lines so you can get the gist:

“Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body…But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be…those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty…so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other…”

So don’t misunderstand me. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to climb the ladder. Work your butt off to get somewhere if you can. Find your gifts, and use them. If you are doing what you can to put food on the table for yourself or your family, then you are doing great. We don’t all need to be waitresses, but we can’t all be doctors either. If you kick yourself every time you fail, you focus on the struggles instead of allowing on the strengths to encourage you. You are needed in whatever you do.

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I am a people pleaser. It wasn’t until today that I realized that it is not exactly a good thing.

I try and put others’ happiness before my own. If they are having fun, then I’m more likely to have fun knowing that they are enjoying themselves.

Since I leave for Italy a week from tomorrow, I’ve been realizing just how many friends I have and how hard it is to give everyone a time slot in my schedule.

People like me get walked on a lot. My sister said if people want to see me, then they will fit their schedules to mine, not mine to theirs. I think I have always fit my schedule to everyone else’s.

The bad thing about that, is that somehow everyone’s free time is at the same time. The trouble with that, is that I am a part of a lot of groups of people, and not all the people in those groups would have fun together because they enjoy different stuff and wouldn’t really connect like I do.

Now I am forced to put some people before others, and I hate doing that because I don’t like people feeling like they are less important to me than the other people I am seeing.

It is good to think of others, don’t get me wrong, but I think some of us spend so much time trying to make others happy, that we forget to make ourselves happy.

Any kind of relationship is a two-way thing. I am someone who has gotten into the habit of basically letting the other person stand there while I walk all the way across the line to their side, instead of having them meet me half way. If people want to see you, be with you, spend time with you, then make them do some of the work too. If you are one of the lazier people, then get up off your ass and prove to the other person that you care.

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No one should be forgotten.

I think that once we die, we think that we will simply become another snowflake on the ground among the rest of the dead. But I think we need to remember that we are remembered by those who matter.

Do you really need to be remembered by someone who only knows your name? Sure we can name off presidents, famous serial killers, famous inventors. But does it satisfy you to simply be remembered by your name? If they would actually become so interested to look up information, all they would know are facts. They would never know you, so wouldn’t you basically be “forgotten” anyway?

After a time, everyone who knows you will die too. But just because your name may not come up in conversation anymore, that one day tears will stop falling for you, that people will pass by your gravestone to get to someone else’s because no one knows who you are anymore, doesn’t mean you have been erased.

All of us leave a little piece of ourselves when we leave. No matter how small, or even how meaningless it may be to some people, we have all left our mark on the world. The world will never forget your presence, even if the people may.

For me, I do not feel the need to be remembered because I have faith about where I will go once this life has passed. I know that it will be more beautiful, more loving, and happier than this world could ever be. I do not care to be remembered in a world of death and destruction from which sin has taken over.

I will be patient for my death, but I am not afraid of it. But I also won’t waste my time.

Start leaving pieces of yourself in the minds of your friends and family. Leave pieces of advice that you have learned or pass on something that you treasure to someone whom you know will keep it safe and will pass down to others.

Trust me, my friends. The white lights of heaven will make you forget about everything that ever happened on earth. You are remembered by God, and He matters much more than any human in the world.

You will never be forgotten.

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I have wondered about this the past few “apocalypses.”

If you are, why are you afraid?

Are you afraid to die? Do you really think that life on Earth is going to be better than life in heaven? Is it because you want to sin some more before you go to heaven? Do you think you will even go to heaven? What makes you think so? Do you know not everyone will?

Do you even believe in heaven or hell? Do you think this is all there is? We live and die and then we are erased? Or do you believe in reincarnation? If so, you’ll have another life again anyway, although I don’t believe in reincarnation.

If you are afraid of going to hell, then maybe you should take a look at what you are doing with your life. One day, you will be forgotten, because everyone who knows you will eventually die too. A lot of people get upset by this fact, but I don’t see why. Why do you need to be remembered by mere humans? Famous people become used by others, because most humans are always thinking about themselves, not you. This is how you get fake friends, fake love, fake respect. People like your looks, your money, your mind…but honestly, they don’t really care about you. And these are the people you want to remember you? Because once you are gone, they move on to a new idol.

The One who knows your name, your faults, fears and pain, your likes and dislikes, the One who has always watched over you, remembers you, the only One who can throw you in hell or bring you to heaven…is the One that is ignored.

We all want to think of God as this guy who loves everything and everyone all the time, sunshine and daisy man. We almost think of Him as a pushover…Yes, God loves us, but there is a reason that the people who love and follow Him also have a healthy fear of Him. We understand what He can do to us, what one day He will have to do to some whom have overcome their hearts with self-love and sin….He will have to throw them into the fire. We are all sinful people, but it’s the ones who want to overcome sin, who choose God over sin, that God wants in His kingdom.

Are you overcome with self-love? Are you one of the people who joke saying, “I might as well live it up and party hard since I’m going to hell anyway.” I used to joke about hell, but it is not a place to joke about. We can imagine whatever we want, but it’ll never come close to the real thing. We know nothing of suffering. No one.

But then stuff like that makes people afraid of hell and Satan. I used to be one of those people too. But like I said, you are only going to hell if you don’t pass through Jesus. He’s the One who died for you, so He’s the One whom will get you in to heaven. Satan will do everything he can to scare you, to get you to sin because sinning is easy. But that’s all Satan can do–scare you. You make your own choice to sin. Why are you afraid of Satan, when God is throwing him along with Satan’s followers into the pit?

God is above everything. When Lucifer wanted God to use His power to control us, God said no. Do you even realize how amazing that is? The gift of free will? The ability to choose? God does not want to control His loved ones, He wants us to willingly choose Him before He brings us to His kingdom. This life is our test. He wants us to live and be happy here the best we can, but sin is not happiness. If it were, He would not throw it in the pit.

I am not trying to preach at you, and if that’s how it feels, I really am sorry. I just want to know why you are afraid to die, when you know you will be dying eventually anyway. This is not the world God wants for us anymore, because it was taken hold of by sin when we chose to disobey Him with the apple. The only rule He had, we broke. But He wants to give us a re-do. He doesn’t want to destroy us, but God is not tame. He does what He has to, because He will not tolerate sin in His kingdom, just like you may not want to tolerate screaming and whiny kids in your house.

But when we strip ourselves of the layers of greed and grudges, of lust and hate, of violence and acting like we are above one another…when we decide that living for Him is more fulfilling than living for ourselves…when we realize just how in the wrong we are, and we ask God to forgive us though we have no reason to deserve such a blessing…that is when we let God into our hearts. That is when He forgives us for our sin because He loves us. He doesn’t need us, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t want us.

I’m sure there’s arguments about this post, and if you would like to discuss anything, feel free to email me–you will find my email on the right side of the page under “Need to Chat Privately”…but I hope you will at least think about some of the things I’ve said. Are you afraid to die? Email me why.

In case some of you don’t know or just forgot….humanity will never know when the world will end. So you can stop buying the “End of the World Survival Guides” and stocking up on dozens of packs of water and food, because you are wasting your time, your money, and adding more pimples and worry lines than you need. When the world does end, none of us are getting out of it alive, so you might as well just settle down and go spend time with your family instead.

Death is not meant to be a frightening thing. It is simply the end of one thing to make room for a new beginning somewhere else. If you are afraid, maybe you should look inside yourself to see why you are afraid.

I, for one, will wait patiently on the Lord until He calls me home. I pray my family will come with me, but when I meet Jesus face to face, I will forget everything else, because nothing else will matter. In a way, I am excited to die. But I believe God keeps us on Earth until our time is up. To kill ourselves before He wants us gone is almost an insult. I pray if things are rough for you right now, that you take it day by day. Ask God for guidance, because He wants to guide you. He will never lead you in to something you can’t handle…but when we ignore His voice and drag ourselves into a pit of misery, we only have ourselves to blame. But to bring yourself out of that, you need to let Him lead you. Satan wants to take over your mind, but God does not enter our hearts until we allow Him in, because we have to choose to let Him in.

–Matthew 24:36 “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.”

–Luke 21:36 “But stay awake at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are going to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.”

Peace and Blessings everyone.

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Patience can suck. Sometimes the people you need to be patient with the most, are the people you want to go jump down a well. But sometimes you need to let things go. If you know that no one is perfect, then you have to remember that they aren’t either. Just because you aren’t their biggest fan, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cut them some slack.

I, for one, have pretty horrible road rage. Unless I’m having a really good day, I am annoyed with everyone that is either too slow, too fast, rides my bumper, has brights on…the usual. I have had quite the mouth with other cars if it’s a bad day.

But then there are days that I find myself doing the SAME THINGS that the others drivers did that annoyed me; whether it’s because I went into a day dream and did’t realize that I was slowing down, because I was late for something so I sped up, I forgot I had my brights on until I was almost passing the other car, road people’s bumpers when I wanted them to speed up.

Sometimes the things that annoy you about others, are things that every now and then YOU might do too. Maybe you don’t, but try to see where they are coming from. Maybe they don’t know it annoys you, maybe that’s just who they are. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean that their others friends mind it.

You don’t have to LIKE everyone, but you should try to somewhat respect those you can. You  don’t even know everything about some of your friends, so you don’t know what kind of life/day others are coming from.

If there are people that drive you nuts, maybe just get some space for a bit. If puzzles make you want to rip apart the box, then don’t do puzzles. You know you’re strengths and weaknesses, or at least you learn them as you go. Everyone has limits. Find yous, and you will save yourself a couple tears and worry lines.

Patience is a virtue. There has to be something you are patient with.

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My chocolate lab
howls at early risers, claws
grinding against bark.
I whistle from my tent
stepping alone
into a circle of tall pines,
brush thick, black.
Rain had become more
than rain. I swim through fog
heavy as steam, whistle again.
Silence deeper than a grave
buckles my knees.
The heart’s enemy
tugs tender stitching
till nearby twigs crack,
the familiar swish of a tail.

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