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Posts Tagged ‘waitress’

Have you ever noticed how fake we are with each other most of the time?

I’m a waitress, and a lot of days I have to stand in front of my guests and lie to them. When I’m asked, “How are you?” I have to respond with “I’m good,” whether I actually am good or not. Sometimes the people asking are asking out of kindness and not curiosity, but for the people who might have actually been interested, I can’t respond with, “I’m in my menstrual cycle so my lady parts are in a type of civil war right now” or “I’ve been depressed because I’ve been missing my grandma a lot lately.” Once when I was being honest with a table of customers by telling them I was tired after having been there all day, my manager overheard me and told me I wasn’t supposed to say that.

Maybe some will claim that we are giving “too much information,” but sometimes I don’t have a filter, and if you’re going to ask me how I am, I will give you a short look into my private life because I don’t have anything to hide. Maybe some will claim that we aren’t honest because we aren’t given the time to really dig into our stories, so we just don’t say anything. But most of the time I’d rather hear someone say, “You know, I’m really not doing good, but I’d rather not go into it.” That is more honest than saying, “I’m okay.” Because at least by admitting you aren’t doing well, I can pray for you. Or on days I’m not doing well, I can be thankful that my struggles aren’t as bad as yours might have been that day I talked to you.

The way I see it is if you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask. Don’t ask me how I am if you don’t want to hear about how I had to borrow money from my mother because I couldn’t pay October’s rent. But at the same time, the culture I live in doesn’t want to hear a sob story. So I pretend everything is fine.

I pretend it doesn’t bother me that some of the people I thought I called friends don’t really seem to care whether I’m in their life or not.

Sometimes we talk to others about others behind their backs instead of talking to them directly. And then pretend to their faces that we weren’t just talking shit. But then who is all talking about us behind our backs?

I used to pretend it didn’t bother me that a guy I used to like didn’t care to spend time with me anymore. Now I’m dating someone who wishes he could see me more than he gets to.

We pretend we know what others are talking about even if we don’t.

We pretend to like certain people even if we don’t.

We pretend to like our jobs even if we don’t.

We pretend to know everything when most of the time we hardly know anything.

Where does it end? What would the world look like if everyone was honest? Would people be more or less offended than they are now? Would we be able to heal faster if we didn’t have anything to hide?

I don’t know about you, but I’m awfully tired of pretending. I can’t be a ray of sunshine every day. I hate lying about the little things. There is so much I feel like I need to learn before I can truly contribute to some of the bigger conversations out there. And I hate that I allow people dictate my emotions and my life sometimes. I’m not a confrontational person, but I’m a very emotional person, and I feel like I’m not allowed to show that side because it makes people feel uncomfortable.

But maybe we need to feel uncomfortable to be reminded about what kind of world we live in. It makes me sad that we have more fake conversations with each other than real ones.

Whether we like it or not, every single person on this planet is a mess in some way or another. So why do we hide? Why does it take us so long to be honest with each other?

[[Please Note: I’m aware a lot of us have close friends to go to to discuss the messy and painful things with, but sometimes we are even fake to those people. And I don’t think it undermines the fact that we are not acknowledging the amount of pain in the lives around us. If we could be open about our struggles, would that change things like bullying? The ignorance of others makes things worse for those who were already in pain.]]

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Everyone is a book on a shelf. 

But you’re not just a book. You’re a specific book on a specific shelf in a specific part of the library. 

I’m a waitress, and there are a few ladies who have worked at my restaurant for over twenty years. I have a tendency to get annoyed of the job by the end of the week. Sometimes I worry that I’m going to be stuck there for the rest of my life. But then I feel guilty for thinking that that would be a bad thing. At least I have a job. I have money to buy groceries every week and a new shirt every once and a while. But I tend to think of my job as something towards the bottom of the food chain. But when I take a step back, it’s not. A waitress is needed as much as anything else.

Notice how when the snow clings to trees, only a certain amount of snowflakes can catch the branches and hang on. The rest fall to the ground. Imagine those snowflakes as people. Only a certain number accomplish their dreams and stick to the branches on different levels. The rest fall to the bottom and get lost in the hills of snow. They find jobs as waitresses, janitors, bus drivers, cashiers. . .

Sometimes we tend to think of those bottom jobs as the lowly jobs. “Why would you want to do that for the rest of your life?” But just because I won’t be a lawyer, doctor, or scientist, doesn’t mean I can’t contribute something. Maybe I won’t end up being the writer I hope to be. Maybe the most I’ll accomplish is win a short story contest after losing twenty others. Besides, without that bottom snow, what would we use for snowball fights? For snowmen? What would we use to snowboard on? To snowmobile on?

Everyone is needed in this walk of life. You may not own the restaurant, but people are needed to serve the food. Without janitors, everything would dust and mold. Without bus drivers, those who don’t have a car wouldn’t be able to get around. 

I am in the middle of reading 1 Corinthians, and I came to chapter 12:12-31 that has a heading called “On Body, Many Parts.” I will quote a few of these lines so you can get the gist:

“Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body…But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be…those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty…so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other…”

So don’t misunderstand me. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to climb the ladder. Work your butt off to get somewhere if you can. Find your gifts, and use them. If you are doing what you can to put food on the table for yourself or your family, then you are doing great. We don’t all need to be waitresses, but we can’t all be doctors either. If you kick yourself every time you fail, you focus on the struggles instead of allowing on the strengths to encourage you. You are needed in whatever you do.

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I am a waitress in a restaurant. I’ve worked there two years as a Hostess and finally this summer I’m now a waitress. Whether you know this already or not, let me give you a couple tips, because it will help me to get out my frustrations. (No offense to the guys, but it will make this easier if I use “waitress/hostess” for everything, so you can mentally put waiter in there if you like):

1. When you are asked if you prefer a booth or a table, the best answer you could give to the hostess is “It doesn’t matter, wherever you need us.” You have no idea how irritating it is for the hostess when you won’t sit where she needs you to sit just because you want a booth by the window instead of being nice and accepting a table. The more picky you are, the more likely it is that the waitresses get double sat. Then, the waitresses come up to the hostesses and complain because they are either getting too many tables in a row, or the others who aren’t being sat come up to us and complain because we aren’t seating them. Trust me, it is easier to give better service when you are given a waitress who actually has the time to take care of you because you are letting the hostesses follow the seating list.

2. Which brings me to number two…more like one and a half. I have gotten so many people that when i am looking around the restaurant at sections to seat people, the customers point to a booth nearby and say in a snotty voice “there’s a booth right there.” Yes, Thank you Captain Obvious. Good thing you were here or I would not have seen the booth staring me right in the fricken face. We know. Restaurants have sections. We are looking through sections to see whose turn it is to be seated; so be patient and give us a second to give you a seat whose waitress will be happy to see you. We are already putting up with crabby customers, and we don’t need you adding to our irritation levels by acting like we are don’t know how to do our jobs. We know the restaurant better than you.

3. Yes, you are the paying customer, but please don’t act like you are the only table that your waitress has. Sometimes when it gets busy, your waitress has desserts to make, prep work for food, tables to wash, busing dishes, orders to type in…it’s not like we are ignoring you. If there’s something you want or at least think you will want, tell her while she is at the table. I have gotten so many people that will ask for one thing, then when i come back, they will ask for another…I’ll come back again and they will ask for another. We don’t have that much spare time. Tell us everything right away so we can get it written down and get on to our other tables. If you can live without it, just let it be. If you have never worked in a kitchen, waitresses have a lot more to do than you think. Yes, I’ll agree some are just plain bad and don’t care about the customers…but don’t take it out on those that are actually trying.

4. Be a generous tipper. Some of waitresses I work with, their bills depend on those tips. A lot of people get lucky with their jobs, but some of them just didn’t, and they need whatever you can give them. I’m not saying give them your checkbook balance, but maybe instead of $2, give them $4 or $5. Every little bit helps, trust me. If you can tell she was trying, then give her what she deserves. Some of us put our hearts into making sure you are happy, and then when you’re smiling and saying everything was wonderful…and then you give a $2 tip…well, it’s really disappointing. Especially when it’s slower in the restaurant, tip a little nicer, for that waitress might not be making much because of the slowness of the day.

5. Whether you believe us or not, we want you to enjoy your food and come back again, so if for whatever reason your food may seem a little cold, as politely as you can, let them know so they can fix it. We get a lot of people who are already bitching and complaining at us. Some polite manners is a wonderful change. Plus, when you are more polite, we feel more willing to help you. When you tell us to hurry it up, you can bet the waitresses will feel like taking their time just to piss you off since you pissed off your waitress. Be nice. She’s trying, and sometimes things don’t go the way we were hoping them to.

I don’t remember where I heard this, but I was told that everyone should have a job serving people, like a job in a hotel or restaurant, because once you get a feel for what it’s like, you are much more understanding. If you haven’t worked in one, try and see it from our point of view.

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