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Posts Tagged ‘trouble’

I am a people pleaser. It wasn’t until today that I realized that it is not exactly a good thing.

I try and put others’ happiness before my own. If they are having fun, then I’m more likely to have fun knowing that they are enjoying themselves.

Since I leave for Italy a week from tomorrow, I’ve been realizing just how many friends I have and how hard it is to give everyone a time slot in my schedule.

People like me get walked on a lot. My sister said if people want to see me, then they will fit their schedules to mine, not mine to theirs. I think I have always fit my schedule to everyone else’s.

The bad thing about that, is that somehow everyone’s free time is at the same time. The trouble with that, is that I am a part of a lot of groups of people, and not all the people in those groups would have fun together because they enjoy different stuff and wouldn’t really connect like I do.

Now I am forced to put some people before others, and I hate doing that because I don’t like people feeling like they are less important to me than the other people I am seeing.

It is good to think of others, don’t get me wrong, but I think some of us spend so much time trying to make others happy, that we forget to make ourselves happy.

Any kind of relationship is a two-way thing. I am someone who has gotten into the habit of basically letting the other person stand there while I walk all the way across the line to their side, instead of having them meet me half way. If people want to see you, be with you, spend time with you, then make them do some of the work too. If you are one of the lazier people, then get up off your ass and prove to the other person that you care.

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A friend of mine has been struggling with money situations. I’ll call her Molly, though that’s not her name. Long story short, Molly’s parents are crazy and basically want nothing to do with her right now. Seriously, even as I told the story to my parents, my mom was like “what the heck.”

So she doesn’t have any help from her parents. A friend of ours and Molly rented a house together because our friend needed to move out of her ex-boyfriends apartment and the house was cheaper and more convenient than some of the two-roomed apartments they found. Now, our friend is moving to live with her dad, and Molly doesn’t have the money to put a down-payment on a new single apartment, because you have to pay rent and a half to even be able to move in. The single-roomed apartment she had before they got the house ran at about $425 a month…so she would have to pay $650 to move back in….

Plus she has to pay rent yet for the house they are livin in, which i think was about $350. That’s $1,000 by itself. THEN she has bills for her phone, food, insurance, all that hunky dory junk.

Plus, she is doing part time at college, so she doesn’t even have time to get a second job.

It’s a mess. A friend of Molly’s said she could move in to her apartment, but it is 20 minutes away from Molly’s job, and Molly doesn’t have a car. The house they have rented out is in walking distance of her job. You can’t even take a bus to Molly’s job from her friend’s apartment like Molly used to do

Why am I telling you this? This is why.

In her mailbox at church, Molly got a couple hundred dollars worth of gift cards to places so she can buy food and stuff. A friend of hers gave her a hundred dollar bill. I’m putting money in a card and telling her she has to use it for bills.

Molly may be in a tight place right now, and even without any help from her family, she has people that are looking out for her.

If you are having a hard time, don’t think that you’re all alone. We are all blessed with people in our lives to keep us sane, keep us alive, keep us healthy. Don’t be afraid to ask for a little help from the people you are close to, because they don’t want you struggling any more than you do.

If you aren’t struggling right now, take a look at even the faces of strangers around you. Some of them are struggling more than you know. Maybe pay from someone’s gas, their food at a drive-in, their groceries at WalMart. You can make someone’s day better just by being generous. We are living in hard times, and though there is much we all disagrees on, we should be willing to help those in need.

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Have you seen Iron Man?  Especially Iron Man 2?

I freaking love Robert Downey Jr, especially as Iron Man. I watched the second movie with my family tonight, and have realized what kind of love I’m going to try and look for….

Towards the beginning, Tony makes Pepper CEO of Stark Industries, and as he is pouring champagne and talking about how he decided who would be CEO after his CEO in the first movie went evil, he says “It’s you. It’s always been you” and you can just see the respect he has for her in his smile and in his voice as he talks to her. Then towards the end, when the Hammer Drones are blinking and are about to blow up, he realizes that Pepper is probably by one, and he says “Pepper” and shoots off to save her, and drops down and picks her up just as its blowing up…

In that moment when he realizes she is in trouble, he acts immediately. You can see how much he cares about her in these moments.

Yes, I get that this is just a movie and he is a good actor, but I know this kind of thing exists. That even though he is self-conceded, likes himself a bit too much, he puts all that aside when he realizes Pepper was in trouble, and for that moment, he didn’t care about anything except saving her.

I don’t necessarily need to be saved, but to find someone who would think about me like that…that would be fantastic. Here’s hoping.

Guys–we aren’t saying do a fancy dinner every night. We aren’t saying wear a suit every day. We aren’t saying be a lawyer or a doctor so we can afford all of the things that I want…

But surprise us with a dinner date every now and then. Even though you get married or have been dating for awhile, don’t stop trying to somewhat impress each other by dressing nice sometimes. We don’t need you to buy us the world, but surprise us with little things that you know will make us happy–whether that is flowers, a new pair of earrings, a pair of movie tickets…

The number of divorces these days is insane, and I pray it stops. Marriage should be a one-time thing. A lot of people rush into it, or they agree to the proposal because it was in the moment, or they agreed even though they weren’t quite ready. This should be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. As you get older, you change a little. You won’t always be a spunky young 23 year old forever, so don’t think that you marriage will be a spunky little thing forever. There are going to be things that you’ll need to work though…TOGETHER.

Work it out, remember why you fell in love, and don’t lose that. I believe there is a “Tony and Pepper love,” “Cory and Topanga love,” and whatever other show or movie you wanna add in here…I believe there is a love for all of us, two people that fit well together. Don’t give up hope, don’t give up on each other.

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