Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

Patience can suck. Sometimes the people you need to be patient with the most, are the people you want to go jump down a well. But sometimes you need to let things go. If you know that no one is perfect, then you have to remember that they aren’t either. Just because you aren’t their biggest fan, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cut them some slack.

I, for one, have pretty horrible road rage. Unless I’m having a really good day, I am annoyed with everyone that is either too slow, too fast, rides my bumper, has brights on…the usual. I have had quite the mouth with other cars if it’s a bad day.

But then there are days that I find myself doing the SAME THINGS that the others drivers did that annoyed me; whether it’s because I went into a day dream and did’t realize that I was slowing down, because I was late for something so I sped up, I forgot I had my brights on until I was almost passing the other car, road people’s bumpers when I wanted them to speed up.

Sometimes the things that annoy you about others, are things that every now and then YOU might do too. Maybe you don’t, but try to see where they are coming from. Maybe they don’t know it annoys you, maybe that’s just who they are. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean that their others friends mind it.

You don’t have to LIKE everyone, but you should try to somewhat respect those you can. You  don’t even know everything about some of your friends, so you don’t know what kind of life/day others are coming from.

If there are people that drive you nuts, maybe just get some space for a bit. If puzzles make you want to rip apart the box, then don’t do puzzles. You know you’re strengths and weaknesses, or at least you learn them as you go. Everyone has limits. Find yous, and you will save yourself a couple tears and worry lines.

Patience is a virtue. There has to be something you are patient with.

Read Full Post »

Sometimes you have to be their for your friends, even if that means driving 8 and a half hours through a snow storm. Even if it means waking up in the middle of the night to a phone call asking to come pick them up because they got in an accident, or picking them up from a bar so they aren’t drinking and driving. Your parents may get mad, your spouse may not approve, your boss may not like you taking the time off work…but everyone needs someone; why can’t that someone be you?

Be there for your friends, and just maybe when you need help or advice or a hug, someone will be there for you 🙂 Give a little to get a little.

Have a blessed day!

Read Full Post »

I learned today that Midwest people are more passive-aggressive. We are nice, but it takes A LOT to get us to open up. Vulnerability has become something we are almost ashamed of.

In high school, there were 3 ways in which you could approach vulnerability. You could either blab it to the world about how much of a heartache it was to not see your boyfriend for two days, you could find one person whom you could actually trust to not say anything, or you kept it to yourself for reasons of your own.

I was one of the people that kept things to myself. There were A LOT of blabber mouths around my school, and if you told the wrong person, you can bet everyone would know about it, even though they wouldn’t talk about it. I am also from a small school, so everyone knew you, and you even had kids younger than you giving you snobby looks. For me, my problem wasn’t necessarily that I didn’t have anyone to talk to, because I actually had two best friends whom I know without a doubt wouldn’t tell a soul if I asked them to keep it quiet, but more the fact that I didn’t want anyone to know I was in pain about something.

There are people all over the world who are going through more problems than we are. I know that, you know that. Yet there are still the people who whine and bitch and act like they have the worst life imaginable, and it makes you want to punch them in the face for their stupidity. We all have many things to be grateful for, even in times of sorrow. A lot of the people I knew who would complain were also doing it for attention, which ticked me off even more.

I didn’t want to express anything on the downside because I always reminded myself that there were people who were going through worse, and I just needed to toughen this out and stop whining to myself.

If you were someone like me, yes there are people in the world who are having a worse day than you, but don’t let that stop you from talking to someone. There is a difference between proclaiming your pain to the world to get sympathy from others and telling someone your pain so you can figure a way out of it. I kept so much in because I didn’t want people thinking I was a wimp, and that has led to present grudges and memories that are hard for me to let go.

Find someone whom you trust and open up to them. Let someone else know you so they can help you figure out why you do some of the things you do, why you feel the way you feel, maybe even help bring light to things even you haven’t noticed and bring peace to problems you can’t solve on your own. You aren’t superman, so don’t try to do this on your own. People need people, even if you are someone who would rather be alone.

Just because you’re problems may not be the life or death of you, doesn’t mean they aren’t important. Just be careful how you express yourself. Be self-AWARE, not self-ABSORBED; and remind yourself that things will get better and that this is just a block in the road that you can get past with some encouragement. Counseling is nothing to be ashamed of, and is something I actually think everyone should do a couple sessions of.

We think that brokenness is something to be frowned upon and must be kept hidden…but when you think about it, the kingdom of heaven was BUILT for the broken, a place where the broken come together, and a place where the broken are given a new life, new start, a new filling that can’t be found anywhere else.

Your vulnerabilities make you beautiful. They are not something to be ashamed of, but rather something to embrace, to learn from, to use through your life. Live wisely.

 

If this interests you, listen to Brene Brown on her TED TALK about Vulnerability. It is great!

Read Full Post »

I found out yesterday that one of my friends is being harassed at her college for being a lesbian. Word got out, and now she said people have been throwing notes under her door saying things like “faggot,” “dyke,” “go back to where you came from.” 

I personally don’t feel that being gay is right, but I would never dream of going up to anyone and calling them that.

This kind of thing is how suicides happen. No one has ANY idea about her past and what that kind of thing could do to her. You wouldn’t have known she used to cut. What if these words led her back to that? You can use your imagination about the rest that she’s been through.

If you don’t agree with someone’s choices, you meet them, understand them, you DISCUSS things with them. Calling her a dyke wouldn’t do anything but possibly throw her back into depression…or maybe even the opposite. Even wonder how school shooting happen? It starts with throwing hateful notes under their doors. I know my friend wouldn’t do this, but I know the Columbine School Shooting story.

This needs to stop. You are all smarter and more mature than this. How dare any of you who have bullied someone. You are NOT above them, and they are NOT beneath you. They are not bugs, so stop stepping on them. Everyone needs a friend, everyone can be pushed to a limit. Just because you didn’t START the buildup, doesn’t mean your words or actions can’t be the cherry on top of a very shitty day.

We were made to love. To love each other and to love God. Only God has the right to judge, so do you think of yourself higher than God? Do you not realize how hurtful your words are? Do you even know what if feels like to be ignored, unwanted, unloved?

Lift someone up today. If you put everyone down, then what makes you think they would pick you up if they were the only ones there? We need to stop sectioning ourselves into groups, and start becoming one group. We are not labels, so stop treating each other as if we are.

Watch your words. Sometimes just a few of the wrong ones can push someone off the edge. Are you forgetting the phrase “Treat others as you want to be treated”? Knock it off and actually give a shit about those around you, and you might find out how rewarding it is to be nice.

Read Full Post »

You know, if guys were smart, they would sneak into their girlfriend’s Pinterest page, look at some stuff she wants/likes/needs; then when they get her that special item, she will be like, “Omg! How did you know!” and they can be all like, “You told me in your own little way, sweetheart.” 😉 if she doesn’t have a page, well good luck, bro.

Seriously though, romance is dying out and casual sex is taking its place. Is sex really worth more to you than love? Why? Just because it brings pleasure? Pleasure never lasts, but love can when you work at it. It’s a special bond that you don’t share with your friend, not even with your Mom. Take the time to find him or her, and when you do, treat them special and worthwhile. Use your imagination and make them remember it 🙂

Read Full Post »

This is a quick short snip-it about me. But I do have a point at the end of all of it, so read anyway!

I am a solitarian. I don’t even know if that’s a word, but if it isn’t, I’m making it one right now.

I am the awkward quiet one that you know is nice so you’ll say hi, but you don’t invite to stuff. If the others start leaving, eventually they all leave until I’m left by myself…AGAIN.

I am a listener. I’d rather listen to someone else talk, or listen to the radio or sing. I’d rather hear about you than talk about me. I’d rather you pick where we go to eat or what time we should meet up for coffee. There are times when I’m really craving something, or “I’m hungry now, so let’s go eat in fifteen minutes” type thing. But when I say, “I don’t care,” it’s not to be nice. I literally DON’T CARE. I am a follower, not a leader, except for a few cases here and there when I don’t mind leading.

I was scared about my major for a long time. A lot of times I feel like my writing sucks, sometimes it really does suck, and sometimes I just don’t wanna write. But it scares me because I should be writing more than I do, but I don’t. I watch movies and TV shows or sometimes read a book instead, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but watching movies isn’t going to get me a career.

Now I’m realizing that I watch the movies and shows because I adore STORIES. I love making my own stories with people I wish I could be, people I’m glad I’m not, people I’d love to have as my best friend, parents that shouldn’t be parents, handsome funny guys that I wish would ask me out, the popular girl who you’ve always wanted to cut up her clothes and hair with a jagged scissors because someone who is such a bitch shouldn’t look so pretty.

I was the one in the marching band, the one who had a loud cheer, but was too scared to be a cheerleader because I didn’t like being out in front of crowds.

I’m not even smart enough to call myself a nerd. I was in volleyball for 7 years, but I didn’t make the varsity team, so I’m not a jock. I can play guitar and flute, but I’m not a musician because I’m not good enough to show off anything. I live on a hobby farm, but I’m not what you’d call a farmer. I can snowboard but I’m too chicken to go off any jumps because I still fall sometimes. I’m not a social butterfly or an artist or a skater. I’m not stylish, and I’m not someone you go to for a good laugh, though I have my funny moments. I’m just kinda good at some things, but not great at anything.

I’m not getting knocked up, drunk out of my mind, or wearing tiny shorts that barely cover my butt cheeks. I’m bigger than that. I’m smarter than that. And it’s about time I stopped feeling sorry for myself and realize that just because I don’t have a lot of friends, doesn’t mean I don’t have a couple of really good ones.

I am a somewhat solitary person, but I wasn’t made that way by accident. Someday, some dude  is gonna see something in me that I will probably never figure out myself and walk me down that aisle in a wedding dress that I have been dying to go shopping for, and I’ll be the bride of a good man with ambitions, family oriented, and likes the thought of  waking up next to me for the rest of his life and grow old with me; and not the bride of someone I figured I should marry because I’m having his baby.

This girl may be kinda pathetic in more ways than one, I might be too good at making awkward situations, and I’m not always as talkative as I wish I was; but you know, if we were all jabber-mouths, we would get annoyed with each other for not ever getting to say anything.

Only YOU have the power to doubt yourself. Everyone else simply has opinions, and we should let them be simply that–OPINONS.

Read Full Post »

I’ve alwas been kinda bad at keeping a journal. I love to write, but I like writing stories that I haven’t heard before. Writing in a journal felt like copying someone’s story because I’m already living it. Tonight I watched the movie “The Vow” with Channing Tatum and it gives me more motivation to keep up a journal, whether I just put in a couple sentences, or I write a couple pages. I like to pretend that I know where I’m going, but I really don’t. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and just because getting in a car accident and losing some memory seems unlikely to me, doesn’t mean that I’m free from it. I guard my heart pretty close, and it can be hard for me to trust some people, but in a lot of ways I trust myself, so if I keep some tabs and memories on hand, if I ever need to re-read it or just look back on a memory, it’ll be coming from ME, and not someone who thinks they know all about me, because no one will ever really know all about me.

Find something to do, make, write, sculpt that will say something about you, who you are, what you are, how you see yourself, where you stand in the world. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves who we are, whether that is because of a little memory loss, or getting stuck in life, and needing to look back and figure out where we went wrong. If we don’t remember who we are, we will be lost forever.

Read Full Post »

We all believe in something, whether that there is a God, that there is life on other planets, or that dogs are colorblind…but i think we all need to figure out what it is that we believe in so we can find other opinions and new information and maybe get a new perspective on what we think we know…

Feel free to add your own “I believe.” I’d love to hear what you think!

–I believe the sun only sets on those who give up

–i believe that music is a faster cure than conversation

–I believe you never truly feel alive until you do something that is out of your comfort zone

–I believe words hurt as much as stones. Even those who try to tell themselves they don’t affect them

–I believe you should read more books than the amount of movies you watch because true imagination is what you make in your head as you are reading, not what is showed for you on a screen

–I believe that once one side of the light fixture goes out, it’s only a matter of time before the other side goes out, so don’t wait for the light to die. Change it so you are never forced into darkness

–I believe a pillow is the best cuddle buddy when you are alone

–I believe pictures are memories that even the alzehemiers won’t lose

–I believe Disney movies give kids something to believe in

–I believe we cannot be helped if we do not want to help ourselves

–I believe the lazy should make themselves take the stairs, for we all need to be pushed in the right direction sometimes

–I believe God tests us to see what we have learned, if we have learned anything

–I believe people want to be mad at God for their problems because it shifts the focus off of them

–I believe the Sabbath Sunday was created for us as a reminder that we are not immortal, and need to take a break even if we feel we don’t have the time

–I believe we all need to learn our limits, for too many of us overwork and overstress ourselves and it is breaking up our families as well as the happiness that can’t get a hold of us because we dont stop moving

–I believe that even though the clouds may cover the sun for a period of time, we are reminded that the sun will shine again if we have patience

Read Full Post »

I was looking through some past journals today, and got to thinking about old times. I love memories. I love being able to picture the cabin by the lake when we went fishing in a speed boat; or when we go to my grandma’s house to go offroading in the summer, hundreds of deep green trees spanning the hills, covering everything like umbrellas. Memories keep me going, especially on days I work long hours and just want to go home, or when I’m crammed studying for 3 tests I have the next day. Memories keep you strong, keep you pushing, keep your hopes up, and become the cushions of old age, the stories you tell your grandkids like the ones my grandma tells me.

But I think sometimes we think too much about them. We look back on fun times and think it will never get any better than that…but it can. Don’t let memories hold you down and become an excuse of why you can’t do something. If you have a bad past, don’t let it ruin your future. Anyone can start over, anyone can make their lives better as they get older, you just have to have a positive attitude  If you’re usually a pessimist, shut up for a second and try saying something optimistic, even if you don’t believe it at the present time. If YOU think there isn’t a chance in hell, then there wont be, because YOU are the only one holding you back. Life has mountains for a reason–to see how far you are willing to go, to see how much you are willing to push yourself to do something.

Give optimism a shot, and don’t let memories cloud your judgement. You are the driver. So drive.

Read Full Post »

I used to write songs a lot. A lot of times I’d babble words just looking for a tune and I’d end up saying something and get to thinking, “You know, maybe I could make something out of that.”  As with my stories, I want people to learn something or at least get something out of the things I write. Not everyone will, but even though we are all different, we share some experiences or feelings that come from related topics. Music affects people, and sometimes when you are simply saying words, it doesn’t have the same effect as it does when you add a tune to it, especially when that tune matches  what you are trying to say.

It kinda bugs me when people say they can’t write. Trust me, everyone can write. It may not be good writing, but everyone can write a simple song about a simple experience; you just may not have the patience to write a 500 page book. Not everyone may be able to figure out what should happen in a book or how to get the reader to fall in love with the character, but anyone can write a poem about the things found in a messy room, a letter to a best friend, a journal entry after a bad day.

Write, paint, sew, decorate, mold, carve, dance, sing, act…Whatever you do, create.

“My business is to create.”–P.S. I Love You

Make it your business 🙂

Read Full Post »

When playing volleyball against the wall, the wall always wins. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we can’t win every battle. Sometimes we need to lose to be able to win again, to find ourselves again. But that battle is usually the one that stops us all from ever fighting again. Keep fighting, because until we die, we will always have a battle. As we grow older we learn which ones to keep fighting for. Your friends can’t tell you which ones to give up on, and your family can’t quite save you if you fall, for our journey is ours alone. Friends are just there to remind us that we have a shoulder to cry on, a waiting hug, a listening ear.

Notice the tree. The wind will push and pull every leaf. At first they all stay attached, but only the strongest ones will remain. Hold on to your branch, everyone. The wind is simply testing your strength.

Almost everything has a “but.” Be aware of the part before it, but be warned of the part after it. Even those who don’t like surprises will be handed surprises. When you can’t escape it, prepare yourself for it. Just because it’s coming doesn’t mean you can’t attempt to ease the blow.

 

Read Full Post »

I am a waitress in a restaurant. I’ve worked there two years as a Hostess and finally this summer I’m now a waitress. Whether you know this already or not, let me give you a couple tips, because it will help me to get out my frustrations. (No offense to the guys, but it will make this easier if I use “waitress/hostess” for everything, so you can mentally put waiter in there if you like):

1. When you are asked if you prefer a booth or a table, the best answer you could give to the hostess is “It doesn’t matter, wherever you need us.” You have no idea how irritating it is for the hostess when you won’t sit where she needs you to sit just because you want a booth by the window instead of being nice and accepting a table. The more picky you are, the more likely it is that the waitresses get double sat. Then, the waitresses come up to the hostesses and complain because they are either getting too many tables in a row, or the others who aren’t being sat come up to us and complain because we aren’t seating them. Trust me, it is easier to give better service when you are given a waitress who actually has the time to take care of you because you are letting the hostesses follow the seating list.

2. Which brings me to number two…more like one and a half. I have gotten so many people that when i am looking around the restaurant at sections to seat people, the customers point to a booth nearby and say in a snotty voice “there’s a booth right there.” Yes, Thank you Captain Obvious. Good thing you were here or I would not have seen the booth staring me right in the fricken face. We know. Restaurants have sections. We are looking through sections to see whose turn it is to be seated; so be patient and give us a second to give you a seat whose waitress will be happy to see you. We are already putting up with crabby customers, and we don’t need you adding to our irritation levels by acting like we are don’t know how to do our jobs. We know the restaurant better than you.

3. Yes, you are the paying customer, but please don’t act like you are the only table that your waitress has. Sometimes when it gets busy, your waitress has desserts to make, prep work for food, tables to wash, busing dishes, orders to type in…it’s not like we are ignoring you. If there’s something you want or at least think you will want, tell her while she is at the table. I have gotten so many people that will ask for one thing, then when i come back, they will ask for another…I’ll come back again and they will ask for another. We don’t have that much spare time. Tell us everything right away so we can get it written down and get on to our other tables. If you can live without it, just let it be. If you have never worked in a kitchen, waitresses have a lot more to do than you think. Yes, I’ll agree some are just plain bad and don’t care about the customers…but don’t take it out on those that are actually trying.

4. Be a generous tipper. Some of waitresses I work with, their bills depend on those tips. A lot of people get lucky with their jobs, but some of them just didn’t, and they need whatever you can give them. I’m not saying give them your checkbook balance, but maybe instead of $2, give them $4 or $5. Every little bit helps, trust me. If you can tell she was trying, then give her what she deserves. Some of us put our hearts into making sure you are happy, and then when you’re smiling and saying everything was wonderful…and then you give a $2 tip…well, it’s really disappointing. Especially when it’s slower in the restaurant, tip a little nicer, for that waitress might not be making much because of the slowness of the day.

5. Whether you believe us or not, we want you to enjoy your food and come back again, so if for whatever reason your food may seem a little cold, as politely as you can, let them know so they can fix it. We get a lot of people who are already bitching and complaining at us. Some polite manners is a wonderful change. Plus, when you are more polite, we feel more willing to help you. When you tell us to hurry it up, you can bet the waitresses will feel like taking their time just to piss you off since you pissed off your waitress. Be nice. She’s trying, and sometimes things don’t go the way we were hoping them to.

I don’t remember where I heard this, but I was told that everyone should have a job serving people, like a job in a hotel or restaurant, because once you get a feel for what it’s like, you are much more understanding. If you haven’t worked in one, try and see it from our point of view.

Read Full Post »

Does anyone ever actually use the red target phone? I watch dozens of people wandering about, not sure where anything is or if Target even has it, yet the phone remains unused…even some employees remain ignored…Are we so prideful that we don’t want to ask for help to save some time? What makes us walk away without giving it a second glance?

The next time you are in Target, pick up the Red Phone and tell a joke to whoever answers, or ask them how their day is going. Don’t be sarcastic about it though. Be legit. Otherwise you are just being a brat, and no one likes those people.

Read Full Post »

My dog Bosten Terrier named Riva died yesturday. She choked on a steak bone and they couldn’t get it out of her asophagus because it was too lodged in and we had to put her down. We’ve had her for ten years. She was my first puppy and I grew up with her. That was hard by itself…

What made it worse was three weeks ago our dog Trooper, a shitzu/poodle mix, got hit by a van on the road. The van didn’t honk, didn’t slow down, didn’t stop to say sorry. He wasn’t even technically our dog either. My sister’s boyfriend had been living with us for almost two years, and he had gotten Trooper as a puppy and Trooper lived with us as well. My sister and Matt had just broken up recently, but Matt needed someone to watch Trooper while he was on a trip to Baltimore, so we did…and Trooper died the day before Matt got back home. Some welcome home present. Matt was still getting over the fact that my sister dumped him…

We still have two dogs left–a sixteen year old pug named Abby and a three year old Chihuahua named Toby. Abby will probably die at least of old age in the next couple years…

I came home last night, and Toby was the only one who greeted me home. His was the only bark I heard. Abby is more of a moving couch and sleeps all the time…but both Riva and Trooper’s barks are absent now, and it makes this house really quiet and empty.

I am so tired of crying. It took me forever to get to sleep last night. I kept wishing when I woke up that it would be Sunday so I could stop her from eating the steak bone. She has been eating steak bones all her life, it’s the chicken bones we have kept away from her…

I feel God has a reason for everything he does, and I think he took Trooper because it freed my sister from Matt. Trooper was basically the only thing keeping them together, so God released the two from each other.

As for Riva, I thought about it all day yesturday. Maybe Riva is gone, because my sister will probably be moving out in the next year, and this way all of us got to see her. I had just come home from college this weekend to help at my grandma’s house, and she died the day I went back. For both dogs, my sister had to tell me their death over the phone. It’s like getting dumped over a text. It sucks.

But I got to see Riva this weekend. I got to play with her and spend some time just having her curled up next to my leg on the recliner while we watched a movie. In a way, I think she knew something was going to happen. She was acting a little weird Sunday afternoon–shaking, though she wasn’t cold, and just seemed restless. I couldn’t figure out what she wanted. She seemed happy though. I remember her smile. She was a good girl. The best I’ve ever had.

What is it about dogs? They don’t have to say anything, they just have to be around to make you happy. They are always happy to see you, whether you’ve been gone for ten days or ten minutes. They love with everything they have. If only we humans could learn to give such love so freely.

Dog and human deaths are different. I don’t really know how to say why, but I’ll work on it. I’ve cried more over this dog than some funerals I’ve been to. When you love so deeply, it hurts more than normal when they are gone…but I’d rather dwell on the memories and feel lucky that I got the chance to have her, than to have never known her at all. As I cry, part of me doesn’t believe it, but that’s only because I’m in the hurting stage, and it’s the transition that’s troublesome. But God would never put us through anything we can’t handle, and he knows we are strong enough to handle this.

People die. Animals die. And they will keep dying. If we tuck ourselves away because we are afraid to cry over death, then we will end up crying anyway from how empty our lives would be.

We will probably buy another dog this summer, we will fall in love with it, and she, too, will die. But that doesn’t stop us from buying her. Everyone needs love in their lives, and dogs help hold us together.

Read Full Post »

Home is where my heart lays in barn dances on saturday nights, home-grown beef for supper, and a family who drinks the grocery store’s supply of coffee. I had the best childhood ever, and I think it’s because of my parents that I chose a college only an hour from home. I like getting out there to start my own life, but through that life, I don’t want to be far from my family so I can still see them from time to time, otherwise I’d probably move to Texas. I went there on a vacation with my sister August 2010, and I fell in love with the place. I almost didn’t want to come home because I felt like I fit in down there, but then I come home and realize that no matter where I go, Minnesota will always be home, and I will always find my way back here no matter where I go for periods of time.

I saw a post on Facebook that said this:

“My curfew was the street lights, and my mom didn’t call my cell, she yelled “time to come in.” I played outside with friends, not online. If I didn’t eat what my mom made me, then I didn’t eat. Hand sanitizer didn’t exist, but you COULD get your mouth washed out with soap. I rode my bike without a helmet. And getting dirty was okay. Click “Like” if you drank water from the garden hose and survived.”

That was my childhood. Heck, I still drink from the hose. Nothing is better than well water. I also realized how much I miss home cooked food after months of college food. I watched the movie “Sweet Home Alabama” today and realized that is kinda how my life is. I speed to get off the highway, but then slow down once I get back on those curvy country roads where I find my peace. Small town life is awesome.

Even if your past might not have been all that great, it got you to where you are today (which is hopefully a good place. If not, maybe you should look at the direction you are headed). Refresh yourself of past memories that taught you something, made you happy, or made you laugh, because you are going to need stories to tell your grandkids 🙂

Read Full Post »

Sometimes shadows only disappear until you bring them to the light. But, what I think we sometimes forget, is that the shadow doesn’t always disappear, but instead just MOVES. When you fix one struggle, another is going to pop up. Guarenteed. But the awesome thing is, is that you are in control of the light. A shadow is as see-through as glass when your light is bright. But when you dim that light with worry, fear, frustration, and anger, the shadows become blacker than the bottom of the sea. If they come, then it is possible for them to go away, but only if you make them. No shadow can defeat the light, so why are you running scared?

Read Full Post »

College can be overwhelming at first, but it’s just another part of life. It gets easier, and you’ll end up enjoying at least the parts that don’t involve a lot of homework. You are now studying what you want to do, not what high school is making you take…

But if you feel you want some advice, here’s a couple. Hope they help:

1. First things first, if you can, make a trip to your college and find all your classes before the first day if possible. The first day of my orientation, I got lost twice just trying to get there. If you have an idea of where you’re headed, you’ll have more confidence, and it will be one less thing to worry about. A couple of the buildings my classes are in can get confusing, so you will look less like a freshman if you know where to find your classes as well.

2. College may be a new start for you, and you may want to show off and make new friends, but whatever it is that you do, don’t act all smart-alic in front of your teachers. If you were the jokster of the grade, whoop-dee-do, but your teachers may not find you as funny. Not right now anyway. You have to let them get to know you first—plus then you’ll learn which teachers you can joke around with and the ones that even your dad would hide from.

3. Most of the time, you’ll probably have to be the first to say hi. So far, I’ve only had one person speak up and say hi to me first. If you don’t know what to say, start out by asking what year they are, what major they want to go for, and maybe what other classes they are in to see if you have any more of the same ones. Once they start talking and asking you questions too, it’s easier to think of more things to say. I’m sure they don’t know what to say either. The less awkward it feels, the more comfortable you’ll be. I had a class where no one talked even when the teacher wasn’t in the room…the entire semester it was always quiet, and believe me, it felt awkward. Like I’ve said in previous posts, I’m more of a listener than a talker, but in the beginning of school, you’ll find a lot of freshman not feeling themselves because of a new place, and helping them open up will help you to open too.

4. Look for some hangouts around the college where a lot of people tend to go. On your free time, you can grab some lunch or a book or homework and head over to that area. Maybe you’ll be lucky and meet some friends there. But you won’t make any if you hide in your dorm or at your house all day by yourself. Sometimes people will come up to you first instead, but you have to actually be around people for that to happen. College is a lot more fun and enjoyable when you have friends to share it with. People are already looking for new friends when they get there, so it’s easier than trying to start in the middle of the year when everyone is already getting settled with their new lives. The beginning of the year is the time to take some action.

5. Make sure you are prepared. High school teachers may get a little annoyed if you are always forgetting to bring a pencil, but you will get lectures and “the look” from your professors if you aren’t prepared. In my high school, it wasn’t really “cool” to carry around a backpack, but everyone in college has one. Don’t kill yourself by trying to carry everything by hand. Your arms will die. As long as it doesn’t have Dora the Explorer or Captain Underpants on it, you’ll fit right in.

6. Get involved in extra-curriculars or sororities. If you go to a big school with like 500 kids in each class, it may actually be a little more difficult to make friends, but if you join choir or a capa house, you’ll be more likely to get that best friend bond that you may be looking for if you don’t find it in your roommates. When you join clubs or special classes with people who enjoy some of the same things as you, you find a lot more to talk about. Once you have a friend, he/she can lead you to some of his/her friends, and you can lead him/her to some of your friends, and before you know it, you don’t feel like such an outsider.

7. Put on some clothes. You’re not at the playboy mansion, so skip the lowcut shirts and the shorts that could be swimsuit bottoms. “You want a man to give you the time of day, so leave a little up to the imagination and respect yourself. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and the beholder is anyone you want it to be.” (Saw it on Pinterest, don’t know who said it). And dudes, pull your pants up. I’m not saying wear tight booty jeans–that’s just awkward, but down to the knees is just ridiculous. You might as well just wear boxers to class. I don’t know who said that was attractive anyway. It’s not. Stop it.

8. Get your stuff in on time. Procrastination is the devil. This ain’t high school anymore kiddies, and college professors don’t accept late work as much as high school classes. For each hour of class, you should be doing two hours of homework just for that class. It doesn’t matter if you try hiding yourself in the back, teachers pay attention to your work and start making opinions about you by how you act, how prompt you are, and how much time you put into your work. So do yourself a favor, and get some things done so you don’t have to worry about it. They aren’t gonna go around making sure all your I’s are dotted, they expect you to be prepared, pay attention, and get it done. If you fall behind, good luck catching up. They go easy on you at first, but once the semester gets rolling, you gotta buckle down. Partying is for the weekends and summer. Get your work done first. They expect you to put in the time and effort, and won’t wait for you to catch up if you fall behind. This is also a good way to get on a teacher’s bad side. Bad idea. Don’t do it. No. A lot of times teachers are the people who can help get you internships or give a recommendation to companies hiring people. Being dependable will help get you there.

9. Take time for you. It’s gonna feel overwhelming at first, and sometimes you feel homesick. I know a lot of people that cry after their first couple weeks; so take a little time and do something for you. Read a book, play guitar or listen to your Ipod while you go for a walk. You won’t do well on your work if you’re constantly stressed, and your face won’t like all the new pimples either. You think clearer when you have a relaxed mind.

10. Get enough sleep. I had been going to bed at 11pm and waking up at 6 every morning. Come Friday, I was exhausted. Personally, I’m someone who needs around 10 hours of sleep to be satisfied. If you do okay with a little less sleep, then hop to it, but after a couple weeks of the same stuff, you are gonna be worn out, might wake up late to class, tick off your teachers when you slept through homework…well it’s just not pretty. That whole “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” thing is a load of crap. We’re only human after all. Take care of yourself. Naps become your best friend. Yes they will.

Other than all of this, have some fun. That doesn’t mean go to every party known to campus, but spend time with your new found friends, and enjoy your new freedom and new life away from high school. These are the days where you are working to learn how to do your future jobs, and you can finally do some classes that you have been waiting to take. You aren’t stuck with a curfew anymore, but you learn more responsibility for yourself. First year freshman can be annoying cause they are so oblivious to college life, but we have all been there, and should help them out when we can. Freshman–learn the mistakes of your peers, and listen to them so you don’t make the same mistakes. Making older friends your first year is awesome cause they can give you little shortcuts and hints on teachers and the buildings. Sometimes the people who made the most mistakes are the ones who can give you the most wisdom.

Stay safe, don’t be stupid with your choices, and enjoy the time you have before they let you out into the world of work and bills. It may seem like you’re busy all the time, but believe it or not, this is the most free-time you will get until you’re retired. Make the most of it 🙂

Read Full Post »

Have you noticed how contradictory the world is? They tell us to be comfortable in our own skin, that we are “perfect the way we are”…and then they slather people in makeup, do close-ups on a couple pimples or slightly shaggy skin, and make us feel like we aren’t pretty enough or skinny enough to be called beautiful. No wonder actors and singers go into drugs and get wasted. We put so much pressure on them, and it can turn a sweet person into a Jerk.

Peer pressure has insane power on us all the time that makes us do things we say we’d never do…and why? Just to get acceptance from people who shouldn’t treat us like that in the first place? Signs say “Just Say No,” but saying no when you are surrounded and outnumbered by people who expect you to say yes…a lot harder when you’re in the moment.

But if we can’t say no to the small things…what will become of us when worse things come our way? It will seem small now, but when you give in, you may think you are in control of it, but it is already in control of you. If they are your friends, you should be able to say no around them. If they keep pushing you, then why do you hang around? It won’t be a one-time thing; they will keep persuading you to do more and more until you are a different person. Find the people you can be yourself around, not the people who you feel like you have to be better. It is good to have people to push you mentally with school work and stuff like that, but when it comes to being who you are, you shouldn’t have to change just because they have problems with it.

If you are shy, like me, trying to push yourself to be out there and conversive…it makes me feel uptight. Once I found friends that actually love to talk a lot, they like being with me because I’m a listener, yet they still let me pipe in every now and then and give my life story while they ask questions and share theirs.

My first semester in college, we were split into halls where we do activities with that hall and a “brother hall” which is a guy’s hall. Most of the girls were fun and nice…the kind of people I like being around…but I didn’t feel myself at all. They ended up not even talking to me , and I felt like I wasn’t being “fun” enough. Since I wasn’t popular in high school, I wanted to try and be in it now…

But then I started making other friends from my classes, people I felt comfortable around. They weren’t the populars, but turns out I’m just not built to be one of them, and I’ve finally learned to accept that.

So be yourself, and you will find that, even if they aren’t the people you are hoping for, they are people who love you for you and won’t try to change you. You were built to be you and will never be happy trying to be someone “better.”

You have probably heard it all before, but maybe that just means we are on to something that others don’t want to listen to.

Read Full Post »

Writers are the ultimate stalkers. I am allowed to sit and watch people with the excuse that I’m writing about them. There is not much that I don’t notice. I see the piece of blue gum squished flat into the sidewalk from a thousand shoes, and the callouses on your fingertips. I notice empty straw wrapper thrown on the ground and the freckle by the hairline on your forhead.

There is nothing in this world that doesn’t deserve my undivided attention. I can sit in a coffee shop for four hours, bringing nothing to do, and just watch people live their daily lives without feeling the need to talk or do something. I would rather listen than talk; I’d rather watch than do.

I went to Target a couple weeks ago, brought my notebook, walked to the food aisles, and sat down at the end of an aisle where the busiest street was in the store. I may have noticed the little old lady searching through betty crocker cake mixes by herself, and the mother singing songs to hush the little girl in a yellow sundress standing in the cart while she gently bounced the baby strapped to her chest, but what I noticed most, was that it was only the kids who watched me.

We’d have staring contests and they would always win, for I couldn’t help but turn away with a smile. Kids don’t see any harm in staring, whereas the rest of us become embarrased and look away if we meet eyes with the person we’ve been looking at. A couple of kids asked really loudly “Momma, what is she doing?” and would point to me. The mothers would say “I don’t know,” and hurry thier kids away, giving me apologetic looks, though I saw curiosity in their eyes as well. It made me laugh, but at the same time, it makes me wonder what they all see. God tells us to be more like children. Kids see everything and aren’t afraid to ask questions. What if we all paused in our pursuit of buying things we don’t need, and take a look around…what would we notice?

They say babies laugh 400 times a day and that if you spend the whole day with the kid, and laugh whenever they laugh, that you’ll be a happier person.  What if we were as worry-free as they are? Pay more attention to kids. We can learn a lot from them.

Read Full Post »

Rain

People say to dance in the rain…but you never see anyone doing it.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts