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Posts Tagged ‘sister’

I am a people pleaser. It wasn’t until today that I realized that it is not exactly a good thing.

I try and put others’ happiness before my own. If they are having fun, then I’m more likely to have fun knowing that they are enjoying themselves.

Since I leave for Italy a week from tomorrow, I’ve been realizing just how many friends I have and how hard it is to give everyone a time slot in my schedule.

People like me get walked on a lot. My sister said if people want to see me, then they will fit their schedules to mine, not mine to theirs. I think I have always fit my schedule to everyone else’s.

The bad thing about that, is that somehow everyone’s free time is at the same time. The trouble with that, is that I am a part of a lot of groups of people, and not all the people in those groups would have fun together because they enjoy different stuff and wouldn’t really connect like I do.

Now I am forced to put some people before others, and I hate doing that because I don’t like people feeling like they are less important to me than the other people I am seeing.

It is good to think of others, don’t get me wrong, but I think some of us spend so much time trying to make others happy, that we forget to make ourselves happy.

Any kind of relationship is a two-way thing. I am someone who has gotten into the habit of basically letting the other person stand there while I walk all the way across the line to their side, instead of having them meet me half way. If people want to see you, be with you, spend time with you, then make them do some of the work too. If you are one of the lazier people, then get up off your ass and prove to the other person that you care.

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On Love

It’s written on their purses, tattooed on their wrists, flung with their lips while talking about Edward Cullen. Funny how “like” and “love” are mixed in the same bowl like ketchup and mustard.

On Muscles

Men make me crazy. I don’t try as hard anymore. Sometimes I just need my girls. I watch freshmen who can’t swim dive into pools of thick biceps with lists about roses and candlelight. Desires as plump as their pumpkin carriages drift through them like dreams. From the sidelines I watch them drown.

On Tall and Short

Tall things are giraffes, double-decker buses, basketball hoops. Short things are street cubs, piano benches, teddy bears. Anyone who is a millimeter shorter is considered a dwarf. We need not have the breaking point be as thin as a spider’s web.

On December 21, 2012

What were you so worried about? We are all going to die anyway.

On Driving Home with my Older Sister

Are you going to go on a date soon, or are you going to spend the rest of your life buying cat food? (She’s been in more relationships than she has fingers to count.) Are you going to use that gas pedal or do I have to catch a ride on the next turtle? (She has had 5 speeding tickets as well as crashed her car.) Are you going to be social tonight or are you going to smuggle yourself in your room writing about demons and dragons again?

On Santa Clause

A man who sneaks into people’s houses to drop off mysterious packages. Kids. Secluded workshop. Big old guy who knows where you are and what you do. There are some stories that are a bit suspicious.

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So I turned 21 on Christmas Day, and my sister and I had planned to go see the movie Les Miserables after I got done with work. After the movie we had Applebees for supper, and then she had surprised me by taking me bar hopping with some of my friends.

Now I am not going to say that I haven’t drank before the legal age, but I’ve been smart about it if that makes any different at all. I do, however, recommend to those who may be turning this age, or will be eventually in the future, to go with people who actually know what they are doing and know the consequences of certain actions.

Last night, i had 5 shots and 2 mixed drinks in 45 minutes. In a little over 2 hours, i had taken 11 shots and 5 mixed drinks. That is not healthy, even if you are someone who says you could do more. It is especially not good since I only had 2 glasses of water while all this was going on.

So from this, I have a couple lessons for those who may not quite know what you are doing yet:

Lesson 1: Pace yourself. There is no need for you to prove yourself to anyone and you need to be aware of alcohol poisoning. I didn’t really realize how much I had been taking until we started counting and started saying “whoops.”

Lesson 2: Drink plenty of water. Especially before you go to bed. After I took shots, I washed down the taste with a mixed drink. Instead of doing that, I should have replaced the mixed drinks with water. I’m sure most of you know this, and I did too, but I didn’t really listen because I was having too much fun drinking some fruity stuff that tasted better than water. But don’t underestimate what water can do for you. Seriously.

Lesson 3: By the time you think you still aren’t drunk, you are probably drunk. Learn what the word actually means, cause apparently my definition was wrong.

Lesson 4: Have someone who has had what they are feeding you so they know how strong something is. If you aren’t sure, don’t be afraid to ask your bartender questions. Know what you are getting yourself into.

Lesson 5: I would have kept going if my sister hadn’t said it was time to go home. Have someone there to watch your back, pull you out the door to go home, and hold your hair when you puke, no matter how much it smells. Make sure it is someone you trust, because when it comes down to taking care of you, you want someone who is actually going to do it all the way through. Surround yourself with people you will have fun with, but also with people who wont do stupid stuff to you. I had a great group with me last night, and even a couple of the guys were telling me a couple of drinks to never let others convince me to take.

Lesson 6: Walk around when you’re drinking. I sat the whole time at the first bar except for getting up to go to the bathroom, but you dont feel how much you have had to drink until you get up to walk around, and if you have too much and dont walk around, you will fall on your ass or fall asleep next to the toilet if you dont walk around. Walking around lets you feel how much you’ve had so you have a better knowledge of when to stop.

There are, of course, more lessons that you will learn yourself, but start with these and go from there. People may expect you to get drunk, but don’t think that you have to. The sucky feeling you get the next day is really not worth it, and I definitely won’t go as far as I did next time. Sometimes the way you have to learn some things is unpleasant. Doesn’t mean you have to make the same mistakes others have.

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You were right on time
but you wait on the leather couch
as she fixes her hair.
Your foot taps like a metronome,
a smile, short “hey”
to the Quiet One.
I scan your sagging jeans
and lopsided hat.
Just like her last boyfriend.
You may know her name
but not her story.

I know the page number
of the book she’s reading
and the TV show she watches
every Tuesday night.
I know she hides her face with makeup
until she knows you won’t run
and hates tomatoes
on chicken sandwiches.
I did not buy that stack of Tae-bo videos
nor bake the chocolate cake in the kitchen.
You don’t know she’s wearing my earrings
or how she got the scar on her forhead.

But you wil see my face beside hers
in the picture on her desk.
For I am her sister,
you will never know her
as much as Me.

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