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Posts Tagged ‘remember’

You know what’s annoying? The person that says, “I wanna do this, but I don’t wanna be the only one…”

Sadly, sometimes that person is still me, though I’m trying to get out of that way of thinking.

Why are we afraid to stand out? Even as we make a fool of ourselves in front of our friends, for some reason we care what strangers think. I think we let ourselves miss out on so much crazy random happenstances just because we don’t want to be seen by someone else. But ever think that the reason you do some of those things is a reason people love you? Never be afraid to be yourself, even if others who don’t know you happen to see. Even if you do know the people, let them see you for who you really are. No one gets to be who you are, so why hide the you that is unique and fun and crazy?

Now of course, I have friends who have wild imaginations, so don’t take my words out of context as if I’m making it okay for you to do something bad. Just don’t stop yourself from screaming out the hotel window, “Good Morning America!” or breaking out the dance to the song “Gangnam Style” when you hear it in a random place. Do what you would do if it was just you and your friend hanging out. You don’t need to be mature all the time, or you will just become stiff. 

Don’t feel that you need to wait till someone else is being weird with you.

All in all, just enjoy being you, no matter what age.

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Have you seen Iron Man?  Especially Iron Man 2?

I freaking love Robert Downey Jr, especially as Iron Man. I watched the second movie with my family tonight, and have realized what kind of love I’m going to try and look for….

Towards the beginning, Tony makes Pepper CEO of Stark Industries, and as he is pouring champagne and talking about how he decided who would be CEO after his CEO in the first movie went evil, he says “It’s you. It’s always been you” and you can just see the respect he has for her in his smile and in his voice as he talks to her. Then towards the end, when the Hammer Drones are blinking and are about to blow up, he realizes that Pepper is probably by one, and he says “Pepper” and shoots off to save her, and drops down and picks her up just as its blowing up…

In that moment when he realizes she is in trouble, he acts immediately. You can see how much he cares about her in these moments.

Yes, I get that this is just a movie and he is a good actor, but I know this kind of thing exists. That even though he is self-conceded, likes himself a bit too much, he puts all that aside when he realizes Pepper was in trouble, and for that moment, he didn’t care about anything except saving her.

I don’t necessarily need to be saved, but to find someone who would think about me like that…that would be fantastic. Here’s hoping.

Guys–we aren’t saying do a fancy dinner every night. We aren’t saying wear a suit every day. We aren’t saying be a lawyer or a doctor so we can afford all of the things that I want…

But surprise us with a dinner date every now and then. Even though you get married or have been dating for awhile, don’t stop trying to somewhat impress each other by dressing nice sometimes. We don’t need you to buy us the world, but surprise us with little things that you know will make us happy–whether that is flowers, a new pair of earrings, a pair of movie tickets…

The number of divorces these days is insane, and I pray it stops. Marriage should be a one-time thing. A lot of people rush into it, or they agree to the proposal because it was in the moment, or they agreed even though they weren’t quite ready. This should be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. As you get older, you change a little. You won’t always be a spunky young 23 year old forever, so don’t think that you marriage will be a spunky little thing forever. There are going to be things that you’ll need to work though…TOGETHER.

Work it out, remember why you fell in love, and don’t lose that. I believe there is a “Tony and Pepper love,” “Cory and Topanga love,” and whatever other show or movie you wanna add in here…I believe there is a love for all of us, two people that fit well together. Don’t give up hope, don’t give up on each other.

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I’m running out of money to buy coffee from Starbucks or Caribou, and I forgot to bring my coffee maker from home, so I have succumbed to the free coffee that came from church after the service.

As I sip from the flimsy white paper cup, I smile as I watch someone from the window of our college library smack a snowball onto the back of his friend, bursting into a firework. Homemade snowflakes decorate the inside of the window, and I’m tempted to take one down and fold it back up so I can see how they cut it out. I have never been creative with snowflake cutting. Mine become deformed shapes that are barely symmetrical.

Only four days of finals left till Christmas break, and I have been so ready to go home. But for small things, such as the gorgeous view from this window that overlooks the main square of my college covered in snow, I am going to miss it very much. Back home, I am not as close to a library as I am here, and there is a Barns and Noble just a 7 minute drive away, whereas back home the closest one is almost an hour away.

Though I am stressed about finals and want to see my parents, I am going to miss this place. I am studying abroad in Italy next semester, so I won’t even have anymore classes here till next fall.

Though Christmas time is coming, and I am sure you are all planning your Christmas dinners, finding cookie and pie recipes that your mother-in-law will approve of, finishing finals, buying last minute Christmas presents for people you feel obligated to buy for, or even starting to buy presents like me, take a little time to relax for a minute. Pimples have been popping up lately on my face, but it is kind of my own fault because I haven’t been using my time wisely.

You may be stressed now, but one day your kids will be moved out. If you are the kid, you will be moved out of your parents and having Christmas with your own family. Maybe you will move a couple hours away and might not make it home for Christmas next year. In the spring, I will be across the world and won’t be able to spend Easter with my family, so I’m going to use this time now to spend with them.

If you hustle and bustle everyday until Christmas, then be running and organizing all day on Christmas…before you know it, it will be over, and you might not even have enjoyed yourself much. You don’t need to buy expensive stuff all the time. It is okay to save some of your paycheck for next week’s bills.

Take this day, this week, this holiday to remember the things you are blessed with. This holiday is not about getting what you want, or leaving cookies for Santa. Thanksgiving may be over, but Christmas is a time of giving, and even in this time we need to thank God for everything He has given us, for the money and jobs that we can afford to give to others.

Have a good Sunday everyone 🙂

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I’ve alwas been kinda bad at keeping a journal. I love to write, but I like writing stories that I haven’t heard before. Writing in a journal felt like copying someone’s story because I’m already living it. Tonight I watched the movie “The Vow” with Channing Tatum and it gives me more motivation to keep up a journal, whether I just put in a couple sentences, or I write a couple pages. I like to pretend that I know where I’m going, but I really don’t. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and just because getting in a car accident and losing some memory seems unlikely to me, doesn’t mean that I’m free from it. I guard my heart pretty close, and it can be hard for me to trust some people, but in a lot of ways I trust myself, so if I keep some tabs and memories on hand, if I ever need to re-read it or just look back on a memory, it’ll be coming from ME, and not someone who thinks they know all about me, because no one will ever really know all about me.

Find something to do, make, write, sculpt that will say something about you, who you are, what you are, how you see yourself, where you stand in the world. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves who we are, whether that is because of a little memory loss, or getting stuck in life, and needing to look back and figure out where we went wrong. If we don’t remember who we are, we will be lost forever.

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My dog Bosten Terrier named Riva died yesturday. She choked on a steak bone and they couldn’t get it out of her asophagus because it was too lodged in and we had to put her down. We’ve had her for ten years. She was my first puppy and I grew up with her. That was hard by itself…

What made it worse was three weeks ago our dog Trooper, a shitzu/poodle mix, got hit by a van on the road. The van didn’t honk, didn’t slow down, didn’t stop to say sorry. He wasn’t even technically our dog either. My sister’s boyfriend had been living with us for almost two years, and he had gotten Trooper as a puppy and Trooper lived with us as well. My sister and Matt had just broken up recently, but Matt needed someone to watch Trooper while he was on a trip to Baltimore, so we did…and Trooper died the day before Matt got back home. Some welcome home present. Matt was still getting over the fact that my sister dumped him…

We still have two dogs left–a sixteen year old pug named Abby and a three year old Chihuahua named Toby. Abby will probably die at least of old age in the next couple years…

I came home last night, and Toby was the only one who greeted me home. His was the only bark I heard. Abby is more of a moving couch and sleeps all the time…but both Riva and Trooper’s barks are absent now, and it makes this house really quiet and empty.

I am so tired of crying. It took me forever to get to sleep last night. I kept wishing when I woke up that it would be Sunday so I could stop her from eating the steak bone. She has been eating steak bones all her life, it’s the chicken bones we have kept away from her…

I feel God has a reason for everything he does, and I think he took Trooper because it freed my sister from Matt. Trooper was basically the only thing keeping them together, so God released the two from each other.

As for Riva, I thought about it all day yesturday. Maybe Riva is gone, because my sister will probably be moving out in the next year, and this way all of us got to see her. I had just come home from college this weekend to help at my grandma’s house, and she died the day I went back. For both dogs, my sister had to tell me their death over the phone. It’s like getting dumped over a text. It sucks.

But I got to see Riva this weekend. I got to play with her and spend some time just having her curled up next to my leg on the recliner while we watched a movie. In a way, I think she knew something was going to happen. She was acting a little weird Sunday afternoon–shaking, though she wasn’t cold, and just seemed restless. I couldn’t figure out what she wanted. She seemed happy though. I remember her smile. She was a good girl. The best I’ve ever had.

What is it about dogs? They don’t have to say anything, they just have to be around to make you happy. They are always happy to see you, whether you’ve been gone for ten days or ten minutes. They love with everything they have. If only we humans could learn to give such love so freely.

Dog and human deaths are different. I don’t really know how to say why, but I’ll work on it. I’ve cried more over this dog than some funerals I’ve been to. When you love so deeply, it hurts more than normal when they are gone…but I’d rather dwell on the memories and feel lucky that I got the chance to have her, than to have never known her at all. As I cry, part of me doesn’t believe it, but that’s only because I’m in the hurting stage, and it’s the transition that’s troublesome. But God would never put us through anything we can’t handle, and he knows we are strong enough to handle this.

People die. Animals die. And they will keep dying. If we tuck ourselves away because we are afraid to cry over death, then we will end up crying anyway from how empty our lives would be.

We will probably buy another dog this summer, we will fall in love with it, and she, too, will die. But that doesn’t stop us from buying her. Everyone needs love in their lives, and dogs help hold us together.

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