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Posts Tagged ‘patience’

This year I have heard the words “stop hiding” said to me a lot of situations that had to do with my views on things. I never saw it as hiding, but I do know I have fears regarding it. So I have made it a mission to be a little less fearful. This will be difficult on one side because my personality is an ISFJ, and I’m quite terrible at confrontation. So when I’ve talked about hard things, it’s usually through internet or texting. You don’t need to tell me how “pathetic” that may sound to some. But it’s the only way I could get myself to speak my mind about anything because I’m still learning to open my mouth when needed at the age of 23. I don’t intend to ever be someone who never stops talking once I find my voice. I’m a listener at heart. But when asked or when necessary, I’d like to find some small piece of confidence in the cramped spaces of my mind to speak what I know.

I’ve been told to stop hiding behind Christianity, to stop hiding behind my phone. But in a world that looks down upon you for having a different viewpoint than the person standing before you, or even the majority in general, it can be hard to want to speak up. Criticism and deep frowns either tend to cause more deep frowns or, in most of my cases, a caving in on oneself by feeling slightly ashamed while simultaneously not really swaying on what I believed to be true. The tone of one’s voice and the posture of one’s stance means a great deal. I am alert to emotion, and when some form relating to anger or irritation pull ahead, it becomes hard for me to find my words because I’d rather focus on calming the situation than answer the question.

There would be more discussion if the important topics were more approachable than they are now. There are the occasional few who may be set in their ways, but are willing to listen to what you have to say. But there are also those who are more interested in telling you what they have to say. Then there are others who would rather not talk about it at all and revert to changing the subject to surface level subjects. I “hid” behind the texts of my thoughts instead of using my voice because when I answer a text or after I’m done reading a text, I have time to catch my breath, to get a grip on my thoughts. My way of coping and of figuring out what I even have to say in the first place is through writing. So it looks like I’m hiding. And I think part of me was hiding. But the other part truly needs to write things out. This introverted mind of mine takes longer than the normal extrovert to answer questions or ideas through speech because my voice is not where my answers are. They are in my hands.

That does not mean I will never voice my opinions, thoughts, or views. It simply means I’m still learning how to answer in a way other than through forms of text. I don’t easily converse with people in general unless I know them, so conversing about deeper subjects takes even more effort.

This is a harsh world sometimes, and I don’t expect to be craddled. I just know that it is taking me time to step onto the battlefield. So have some patience with those who may be similar to me. Frown a little less, and maybe we will be more willing to answer you. Use a few less harsh words, and maybe you will help us find the confidence we need.

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21 sounds young, but to me I feel like I’m getting old, especially since I’m a senior in college this year. It doesn’t matter how many people tell me  that there’s plenty of fish in the sea, that it will happen when I least expect it. Sure, maybe it will. Still, that never seemed to help me.

But I think I was going about it all wrong.

God put it in our hearts to want love, to want marriage. Marriage will be a beautiful thing, a day to celebrate the joining of two families into one. I find myself skimming through Pinterest engagement pictures, thinking about that moment when he pops out a ring, how he’ll get down on one knee.

I’ve looked at wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses, where we would want the reception, types of flowers and decorations. I’ve thought about those steps down the aisle, not being able to see anyone but him waiting for me.

I look at guys in my life, guys I like, and begin trying on their last names. I imagine honeymoon locations, and buying our first house. I imagine the private things that happen on honeymoons. I imagine tailgate parties, motorcycle rides, and picnics in the park as husband and wife. Sometimes I rub my stomach and think about experiencing that first kick, the excitement of seeing a baby we made even after the pain.

If I have a daughter, I hope to name her Natalie; if a son, I hope to name him Ethan. I’ve thought about what I’d decorate the baby room into, about having a summer cabin by a lake where we could take family vacations. I’ve thought about teaching my kids patience through fishing and hard work by feeding the calves and pulling weeds in the garden. I’d hope my daughter to be a volleyball player like I was. I would love to have a son on the football team.

I’ve thought it all, I’ve read it all. Most experience something of the sort, some don’t.

But then I have to remember something: my priority has never been marriage. My priority has always been God. I have even told myself that in my relationship God will always come first, so why do I have it in my head that I need to find someone before I spend the rest of my life alone? 

A part of me loves being alone. Lately I haven’t had enough time to myself, and I’m someone who needs “me time” if I’m going to survive being with people all the time. I love seeing my friends and family and just people in general, but, for me, there really is such a thing as too much people-time.

For me, to read, write, do summer school homework, play guitar, listen to music without having to participate in conversation; these things I need to do alone. When I was in Italy, I was with people every single day and never really just went for a walk by myself or sat in my bed reading what I wanted to read. I wanted to be in the lounge hanging out with people because I knew my time was limited and I wanted to see them all as much as I could.

But what I seem to keep forgetting, what I think we all forget, is that all of us need time alone. Some need it more than others, but you can’t really reflect unless you give yourself some space from the things that distract you. Since I’m single, I’ll get more “me time” than I will once I get a real full-time job, a boyfriend/husband, and kids. Once my life starts with someone else, my life will be devoted to them. However, right now, I get to devote myself to simple things that I love. This may be the most time I’ll ever get to work on writing my books, and that doesn’t even feel like much time at all.

At the end of the day, yes, I’m single. But I’m also using that time to work towards the things that God has me here to do. Right now, I don’t have a boy to distract me from my writing. I know with every part of my being that God has stories He wants me to share with the world, and He chose me to write them for Him. God is all I’ve ever needed, and I will always seek His Kingdom first. A relationship with a man will always come in second to my relationship with God.

God really is enough, and I hope if you don’t know that already, that you will come to realize it as well 🙂

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Patience can suck. Sometimes the people you need to be patient with the most, are the people you want to go jump down a well. But sometimes you need to let things go. If you know that no one is perfect, then you have to remember that they aren’t either. Just because you aren’t their biggest fan, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cut them some slack.

I, for one, have pretty horrible road rage. Unless I’m having a really good day, I am annoyed with everyone that is either too slow, too fast, rides my bumper, has brights on…the usual. I have had quite the mouth with other cars if it’s a bad day.

But then there are days that I find myself doing the SAME THINGS that the others drivers did that annoyed me; whether it’s because I went into a day dream and did’t realize that I was slowing down, because I was late for something so I sped up, I forgot I had my brights on until I was almost passing the other car, road people’s bumpers when I wanted them to speed up.

Sometimes the things that annoy you about others, are things that every now and then YOU might do too. Maybe you don’t, but try to see where they are coming from. Maybe they don’t know it annoys you, maybe that’s just who they are. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean that their others friends mind it.

You don’t have to LIKE everyone, but you should try to somewhat respect those you can. You  don’t even know everything about some of your friends, so you don’t know what kind of life/day others are coming from.

If there are people that drive you nuts, maybe just get some space for a bit. If puzzles make you want to rip apart the box, then don’t do puzzles. You know you’re strengths and weaknesses, or at least you learn them as you go. Everyone has limits. Find yous, and you will save yourself a couple tears and worry lines.

Patience is a virtue. There has to be something you are patient with.

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I am a waitress in a restaurant. I’ve worked there two years as a Hostess and finally this summer I’m now a waitress. Whether you know this already or not, let me give you a couple tips, because it will help me to get out my frustrations. (No offense to the guys, but it will make this easier if I use “waitress/hostess” for everything, so you can mentally put waiter in there if you like):

1. When you are asked if you prefer a booth or a table, the best answer you could give to the hostess is “It doesn’t matter, wherever you need us.” You have no idea how irritating it is for the hostess when you won’t sit where she needs you to sit just because you want a booth by the window instead of being nice and accepting a table. The more picky you are, the more likely it is that the waitresses get double sat. Then, the waitresses come up to the hostesses and complain because they are either getting too many tables in a row, or the others who aren’t being sat come up to us and complain because we aren’t seating them. Trust me, it is easier to give better service when you are given a waitress who actually has the time to take care of you because you are letting the hostesses follow the seating list.

2. Which brings me to number two…more like one and a half. I have gotten so many people that when i am looking around the restaurant at sections to seat people, the customers point to a booth nearby and say in a snotty voice “there’s a booth right there.” Yes, Thank you Captain Obvious. Good thing you were here or I would not have seen the booth staring me right in the fricken face. We know. Restaurants have sections. We are looking through sections to see whose turn it is to be seated; so be patient and give us a second to give you a seat whose waitress will be happy to see you. We are already putting up with crabby customers, and we don’t need you adding to our irritation levels by acting like we are don’t know how to do our jobs. We know the restaurant better than you.

3. Yes, you are the paying customer, but please don’t act like you are the only table that your waitress has. Sometimes when it gets busy, your waitress has desserts to make, prep work for food, tables to wash, busing dishes, orders to type in…it’s not like we are ignoring you. If there’s something you want or at least think you will want, tell her while she is at the table. I have gotten so many people that will ask for one thing, then when i come back, they will ask for another…I’ll come back again and they will ask for another. We don’t have that much spare time. Tell us everything right away so we can get it written down and get on to our other tables. If you can live without it, just let it be. If you have never worked in a kitchen, waitresses have a lot more to do than you think. Yes, I’ll agree some are just plain bad and don’t care about the customers…but don’t take it out on those that are actually trying.

4. Be a generous tipper. Some of waitresses I work with, their bills depend on those tips. A lot of people get lucky with their jobs, but some of them just didn’t, and they need whatever you can give them. I’m not saying give them your checkbook balance, but maybe instead of $2, give them $4 or $5. Every little bit helps, trust me. If you can tell she was trying, then give her what she deserves. Some of us put our hearts into making sure you are happy, and then when you’re smiling and saying everything was wonderful…and then you give a $2 tip…well, it’s really disappointing. Especially when it’s slower in the restaurant, tip a little nicer, for that waitress might not be making much because of the slowness of the day.

5. Whether you believe us or not, we want you to enjoy your food and come back again, so if for whatever reason your food may seem a little cold, as politely as you can, let them know so they can fix it. We get a lot of people who are already bitching and complaining at us. Some polite manners is a wonderful change. Plus, when you are more polite, we feel more willing to help you. When you tell us to hurry it up, you can bet the waitresses will feel like taking their time just to piss you off since you pissed off your waitress. Be nice. She’s trying, and sometimes things don’t go the way we were hoping them to.

I don’t remember where I heard this, but I was told that everyone should have a job serving people, like a job in a hotel or restaurant, because once you get a feel for what it’s like, you are much more understanding. If you haven’t worked in one, try and see it from our point of view.

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