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Posts Tagged ‘nice’

It is when we are alone that we are at our most honest. There may be things we can never admit to someone else, but the things we do, the things we think—we cannot hide them from ourselves.

I had a rough day. For a while, I have felt like a taxi-cab to some of my friends, a pawn for people’s use whenever they need something because I’m the girl that never learned to say no. But today I admitted to myself that I feel as if there are few people who actually treasure me as a friend.

How do you show people you love them? How do your friends, sister, cousin know you love them? Do you just tell them? Or do you give them hugs, buy them something that reminds you of them, write them a note telling them to have a good day…You do things for them, right? I try to show my Mom I love her by cleaning up the house for her. Now, I feel like my family just expects it from me, as if it doesn’t mean much anymore since I never get a thank you, even if I spent hours cleaning. Do they realize I’m doing it for them? I give my friends rides everywhere, send them random reminders that I was thinking of them and that I love them. I reminisce the fun times we have together and I send them things I know will make them laugh.

I want to mean something to someone. But I’ve come to feel that there are few people that I feel like I actually matter to them. I come running when they need something, because I want to be helpful. I want to be a good friend. But I can also say no and still be a good friend. I have learned that I have no boundaries with the people in my life, and it has turned me into a pushover. Being a pushover is one of most frustrating things in the world, yet I let people push me into doing things for them without asking for anything in return. Because asking for gas money is greedy, right? Asking for them to come see my after I’ve driven to see them so many times is impolite, right?

But I want to see them, so I go. I want to see them, so I pay. But when they don’t return the favor, I feel like it’s a one-sided relationship. They will hangout if I go there. They will hang out if I drive us. They want to see me, but they work these days, so I have to switch my hours so I can go see them.

It’s important to be nice. It’s important to love. There are things we can do for each other to bring happiness to the opposite person. But I feel like I am at the point where no one does anything for me anymore. This may seem greedy, maybe it is, but if anything is to change, I need to be honest with myself about how I really feel instead of slapping on excuses that my heart doesn’t fully feel. In Acts 20:35, it mentions that Jesus said “It is more blessed to give than to recieve.” Maybe one day I will be better at doing this fully, but I believe we also need to look out for ourselves. Luke 6:38 also says, “Give and it will be given to you..” Maybe I’m not looking close enough at what I’m being given. However, I’m not going to do anyone any good or be a truly good friend if I’m secretly grumbling to myself about how I feel like I’m being used.

I get it from my dad. Neither of us can say no, and we always end up doing the things that no one else wants to do. “If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.” Maybe. But I think there comes a point where some of us end up always doing everything and it puts us in a shallow mood. Instead of asking for gas money, maybe I should just say I can’t give them a ride this time. By not changing anything, nothing will change. Letting your irritations fester inside without letting others know how you feel can turn your heart bitter.

What was the last thing you did for someone? When was the last time someone has done something for you? Remember: Relationships are a two way street. Don’t let your heart become greedy, but don’t let it become bitter either.

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Americans are making life into one big deadline:
-If you aren’t married by this certain age, you will probably be single forever.
-If you don’t have a kid by this certain age you are too old to be a parent
-If you don’t have a job or a college degree by this certain age you are going to scrubbing kitchen floors or shoveling horse dung off the state fair streets for the rest of your days.

It is exhausting finally being able to finish a project and then turn around to get a cup of coffee and be thrown three more. Americans are becoming so time-oriented, that the quality and value of things are definitely not what they could be.

I’d like to buy a shirt or sweatshirt that doesn’t have a hem threatening to rip on me a couple weeks after I buy it. I’d like to work on a short story and not have my professor poking me in my back asking if I’m done yet. I’d like to be able to sit out on a park bench today and read a new fiction book that I just bought and be able to put off my homework till tomorrow.

But I can’t. Time is precious, yes. But nerves can be as fragile as the tick of the clock. By trying to make so many deadlines all the time, we aren’t able to let ourselves enjoy the present, for we are always trying to make sure we are caught up with the future deadlines. No human is patient forever.

Time is important, but so is sleep. There are only so many days that I can stay up till 1am doing homework and wake up at 7 for a morning class. I have felt terrible lately because I’ve had friends that want to spend time with me, but my excuse has been homework.

Time is a luxury, but so is living. What is the point of living a long life if you’re rushing through it? We NEED give ourselves the time to reflect, to observe, to ENJOY.

Americans live by the “Quantity over Quality” standard. We live by the “Timing is everything” standard.

I think Americans need to sort out their priorities.

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Sometimes, there are other people that are in more need of your love than yourself. Shocking, I know. That new episode of Lost can wait, your nails don’t need another coat of paint right now, and it is acceptable to walk out of the house without make-up on for once.

These days, we make ourselves happy before we want to bring others happiness. That pie looks so good, I’d rather buy it for myself. That shirt is so cute, I think I’ll just keep this one and find her something different. We don’t like to think of it as selfishness, but that’s what it is, people. When did you last pick up some trash along the grass, not because someone told you to pick it up, but you did it because it was the right thing to do?

We were created to love God and to love one another….”one another” doesn’t mean ourselves.

My biology teacher was telling us a story yesturday about how she was standing in line at the mail center, and the girl ahead of her was about seven cents short for paying for her packages, and my teacher had some spare change to give. The girl took the money and handed it to the cashier without even looking at my teacher, without saying thank you, or even acknowledging her in any way.

It wasn’t as if the change had broken my teacher’s bank account. It didn’t lose her anything. But this has made my teacher a bit irritated, and she wanted to go up to the girl and tell her that she should be more grateful….

But then God tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Hey now, how many times do I give you small things and never receive a thank you?”

How many things do we forget to thank God for? How many things do we forget to thank EACH OTHER for? How many things do we do, simply because we want to be personally recognized for them, to be thanked, to be honored. Not everyone is going to give you something in return, but do you really need anything? Do things because you want to be nice, not because you are hoping to get something out of it.

Go throughout your day and see how many things you do just because you are pleasing yourself, and try to trade a couple of those things with things you can love on other people by doing. Use your imagination, and maybe you can make someone’s day 🙂

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