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Posts Tagged ‘kindness’

I am friends with a girl on Facebook who is gorgeous, has a handsome husband, an adorable daughter. Their pictures together are so beautiful and they look happy and cute together.

She just posted a status that she’s moving out.

This surprised me, but then I took a step back and asked myself why I was surprised. I personally don’t know her that well, she was just in one of my classes and she had said she had been with this guy for awhile.

Then I figured out that what surprised me was because in the pictures, they are a beautiful family. But they are just pictures. Pictures may remind you of memories…

But they can also show a smile only when the smile is present. I don’t know what happened behind the picture, I don’t know what they struggled with as a couple, if it had something to do with their daughter. I just don’t know. But I was only paying attention to what I saw in the pictures.

The same goes for people we pass on the street daily. I may put on a fake smile as I’m saying thank you to the lady packing my groceries, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m happy at the time. None of us know the background unless we hear the information from the person themselves.

So part 1: Don’t envy someone you think looks like they are doing better than you. Not everything is what it seems to be. They may be struggling more with money or a relationship than you are. Maybe they aren’t, but you have your own life, made your own choices, are your own person.

Part 2: Be aware of the people around you, and remember that they could be having a bad day already. Be kind even when you don’t want to be, because the last thing they may need is someone who is bitching them out. Everyone has a breaking point, and at any moment, you could be a reason for that breaking point. It doesn’t take much to make someone burst when they are at their limit. You could simply say something like “Move it, you moron” and it could be at that moment that they are thinking about everything that is going wrong in their life. Something like that can burst into rage, or crumble into depression and suicide. Either way, they are breaking. Sometimes a small gesture of kindness can remind them that not everyone is a dick in this world. Even if they are rude back, don’t be rude.  

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I am going to write this now, in case I somehow receive a ton of money and become selfishly absorbed. As of this moment, I plan on making sure I don’t let myself make money or things a priority in my life. I don’t think we ever really intend to in the first place, but as we become absorbed with cell phones, we find that we want to spend money on the best and brightest. Ipods, laptops, sound systems, TVs, houses, cars, RVs, furniture,dogs, flowers, food, fridges, ovens, paintings, yada yada, yap yap. The list is endless with which you can be picky, spendy, greedy, stupid. There are shops full of stuff to buy that is pointless. You buy it because it’s funny, and then all of a sudden you have a box full of crap that you don’t even know what to do with. I’m afraid of becoming a hoarder, so if I buy less stuff, that is less likely to happen.

Now don’t get me wrong–things age and need to be replaced. I’m just saying buy what’s wise, not necessarily what’s hip and cool. One of my friends is a Coupon Queen, and that is a smart way to go if you give a little time and organization. 

But why I’m writing this, is because when I get older and have a family, I don’t know what my financial situation is going to be. I don’t know where I’ll be working, where I’ll be living, and I could either be just getting by or rolling in the big bucks. All I know, is that I don’t want to let it change me. Money is a material that can either be a tree in your mind or a dust bunny.

Think about it, we all have money trees. You go to work, make your money, give it back to the community when buying food for your family, donating to a cancer cause,  just to make it back to spend it again. A tree grows leaves, but can’t grow them back again until they are let go and given to the ground. 

But then some are hoarders of their money, dust bunnies. You may spend it, but it is things on yourself, and it keeps piling up either in your bank account or in your house. You may play in the stock market or casino, but what you win you bet again at the casino to get more.

It never gets better, because it blinds you into an obsession. Once you get more, you think you can get even more than that if you made it that far. It is just paper that can burn, plastic cards that can melt, yet these thin, material things swallow us whole. Once you’re in, it’s hard to pull yourself back out. 

If you feel the tug, take your Mom out and buy her lunch instead of letting her pay for you. Mow someone’s yard or babysit for free. When buying gas, surprise someone by buying theirs as well, or when in the drive-thru line, pay for the person behind you. These little acts of kindness not only bring a joy to your own heart, but they free you from the grip of money. You only need so much, the rest is just because you want it. Put some away in a savings account for college if you want, but don’t wrap yourself up in stuff. You don’t need to be at the casino every other day.

My parents never bought me video games because they didn’t want me spending all my time inside on them. I had Barbies and used my imagination and brought them to life. i ran around in fresh air and got muscle from helping my dad feed cows. I got my tan not from a tanning bed but from mowing the lawn and picking up hay bales from the field by hand. I learned patience from fishing with my dad and to work for what I want by getting a job instead of my parents paying for me.

Don’t let yourself or your kids get wrapped up in material things. There is a ton to do that doesn’t involve electronics. Teach yourself how to play the guitar because music is good for the soul. Pick up a pencil and try drawing a picture, even if you think you suck. No one has to see it but you. Go for a run in the fresh air or plant a vegetable garden so you don’t have to buy as much at the store. Get an old notebook and write a song or a poem. Turn off the TV and read a book. You use your imagination more when reading a book than watching what is shown to you on a screen. Go to a park and play fetch with your dog.

And remember this: If you don’t give now, what makes you think you’ll give later?

Live through life, not through money. 

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Sometimes, there are other people that are in more need of your love than yourself. Shocking, I know. That new episode of Lost can wait, your nails don’t need another coat of paint right now, and it is acceptable to walk out of the house without make-up on for once.

These days, we make ourselves happy before we want to bring others happiness. That pie looks so good, I’d rather buy it for myself. That shirt is so cute, I think I’ll just keep this one and find her something different. We don’t like to think of it as selfishness, but that’s what it is, people. When did you last pick up some trash along the grass, not because someone told you to pick it up, but you did it because it was the right thing to do?

We were created to love God and to love one another….”one another” doesn’t mean ourselves.

My biology teacher was telling us a story yesturday about how she was standing in line at the mail center, and the girl ahead of her was about seven cents short for paying for her packages, and my teacher had some spare change to give. The girl took the money and handed it to the cashier without even looking at my teacher, without saying thank you, or even acknowledging her in any way.

It wasn’t as if the change had broken my teacher’s bank account. It didn’t lose her anything. But this has made my teacher a bit irritated, and she wanted to go up to the girl and tell her that she should be more grateful….

But then God tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Hey now, how many times do I give you small things and never receive a thank you?”

How many things do we forget to thank God for? How many things do we forget to thank EACH OTHER for? How many things do we do, simply because we want to be personally recognized for them, to be thanked, to be honored. Not everyone is going to give you something in return, but do you really need anything? Do things because you want to be nice, not because you are hoping to get something out of it.

Go throughout your day and see how many things you do just because you are pleasing yourself, and try to trade a couple of those things with things you can love on other people by doing. Use your imagination, and maybe you can make someone’s day 🙂

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I found out yesterday that one of my friends is being harassed at her college for being a lesbian. Word got out, and now she said people have been throwing notes under her door saying things like “faggot,” “dyke,” “go back to where you came from.” 

I personally don’t feel that being gay is right, but I would never dream of going up to anyone and calling them that.

This kind of thing is how suicides happen. No one has ANY idea about her past and what that kind of thing could do to her. You wouldn’t have known she used to cut. What if these words led her back to that? You can use your imagination about the rest that she’s been through.

If you don’t agree with someone’s choices, you meet them, understand them, you DISCUSS things with them. Calling her a dyke wouldn’t do anything but possibly throw her back into depression…or maybe even the opposite. Even wonder how school shooting happen? It starts with throwing hateful notes under their doors. I know my friend wouldn’t do this, but I know the Columbine School Shooting story.

This needs to stop. You are all smarter and more mature than this. How dare any of you who have bullied someone. You are NOT above them, and they are NOT beneath you. They are not bugs, so stop stepping on them. Everyone needs a friend, everyone can be pushed to a limit. Just because you didn’t START the buildup, doesn’t mean your words or actions can’t be the cherry on top of a very shitty day.

We were made to love. To love each other and to love God. Only God has the right to judge, so do you think of yourself higher than God? Do you not realize how hurtful your words are? Do you even know what if feels like to be ignored, unwanted, unloved?

Lift someone up today. If you put everyone down, then what makes you think they would pick you up if they were the only ones there? We need to stop sectioning ourselves into groups, and start becoming one group. We are not labels, so stop treating each other as if we are.

Watch your words. Sometimes just a few of the wrong ones can push someone off the edge. Are you forgetting the phrase “Treat others as you want to be treated”? Knock it off and actually give a shit about those around you, and you might find out how rewarding it is to be nice.

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I am a waitress in a restaurant. I’ve worked there two years as a Hostess and finally this summer I’m now a waitress. Whether you know this already or not, let me give you a couple tips, because it will help me to get out my frustrations. (No offense to the guys, but it will make this easier if I use “waitress/hostess” for everything, so you can mentally put waiter in there if you like):

1. When you are asked if you prefer a booth or a table, the best answer you could give to the hostess is “It doesn’t matter, wherever you need us.” You have no idea how irritating it is for the hostess when you won’t sit where she needs you to sit just because you want a booth by the window instead of being nice and accepting a table. The more picky you are, the more likely it is that the waitresses get double sat. Then, the waitresses come up to the hostesses and complain because they are either getting too many tables in a row, or the others who aren’t being sat come up to us and complain because we aren’t seating them. Trust me, it is easier to give better service when you are given a waitress who actually has the time to take care of you because you are letting the hostesses follow the seating list.

2. Which brings me to number two…more like one and a half. I have gotten so many people that when i am looking around the restaurant at sections to seat people, the customers point to a booth nearby and say in a snotty voice “there’s a booth right there.” Yes, Thank you Captain Obvious. Good thing you were here or I would not have seen the booth staring me right in the fricken face. We know. Restaurants have sections. We are looking through sections to see whose turn it is to be seated; so be patient and give us a second to give you a seat whose waitress will be happy to see you. We are already putting up with crabby customers, and we don’t need you adding to our irritation levels by acting like we are don’t know how to do our jobs. We know the restaurant better than you.

3. Yes, you are the paying customer, but please don’t act like you are the only table that your waitress has. Sometimes when it gets busy, your waitress has desserts to make, prep work for food, tables to wash, busing dishes, orders to type in…it’s not like we are ignoring you. If there’s something you want or at least think you will want, tell her while she is at the table. I have gotten so many people that will ask for one thing, then when i come back, they will ask for another…I’ll come back again and they will ask for another. We don’t have that much spare time. Tell us everything right away so we can get it written down and get on to our other tables. If you can live without it, just let it be. If you have never worked in a kitchen, waitresses have a lot more to do than you think. Yes, I’ll agree some are just plain bad and don’t care about the customers…but don’t take it out on those that are actually trying.

4. Be a generous tipper. Some of waitresses I work with, their bills depend on those tips. A lot of people get lucky with their jobs, but some of them just didn’t, and they need whatever you can give them. I’m not saying give them your checkbook balance, but maybe instead of $2, give them $4 or $5. Every little bit helps, trust me. If you can tell she was trying, then give her what she deserves. Some of us put our hearts into making sure you are happy, and then when you’re smiling and saying everything was wonderful…and then you give a $2 tip…well, it’s really disappointing. Especially when it’s slower in the restaurant, tip a little nicer, for that waitress might not be making much because of the slowness of the day.

5. Whether you believe us or not, we want you to enjoy your food and come back again, so if for whatever reason your food may seem a little cold, as politely as you can, let them know so they can fix it. We get a lot of people who are already bitching and complaining at us. Some polite manners is a wonderful change. Plus, when you are more polite, we feel more willing to help you. When you tell us to hurry it up, you can bet the waitresses will feel like taking their time just to piss you off since you pissed off your waitress. Be nice. She’s trying, and sometimes things don’t go the way we were hoping them to.

I don’t remember where I heard this, but I was told that everyone should have a job serving people, like a job in a hotel or restaurant, because once you get a feel for what it’s like, you are much more understanding. If you haven’t worked in one, try and see it from our point of view.

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