Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘greedy’

It is when we are alone that we are at our most honest. There may be things we can never admit to someone else, but the things we do, the things we think—we cannot hide them from ourselves.

I had a rough day. For a while, I have felt like a taxi-cab to some of my friends, a pawn for people’s use whenever they need something because I’m the girl that never learned to say no. But today I admitted to myself that I feel as if there are few people who actually treasure me as a friend.

How do you show people you love them? How do your friends, sister, cousin know you love them? Do you just tell them? Or do you give them hugs, buy them something that reminds you of them, write them a note telling them to have a good day…You do things for them, right? I try to show my Mom I love her by cleaning up the house for her. Now, I feel like my family just expects it from me, as if it doesn’t mean much anymore since I never get a thank you, even if I spent hours cleaning. Do they realize I’m doing it for them? I give my friends rides everywhere, send them random reminders that I was thinking of them and that I love them. I reminisce the fun times we have together and I send them things I know will make them laugh.

I want to mean something to someone. But I’ve come to feel that there are few people that I feel like I actually matter to them. I come running when they need something, because I want to be helpful. I want to be a good friend. But I can also say no and still be a good friend. I have learned that I have no boundaries with the people in my life, and it has turned me into a pushover. Being a pushover is one of most frustrating things in the world, yet I let people push me into doing things for them without asking for anything in return. Because asking for gas money is greedy, right? Asking for them to come see my after I’ve driven to see them so many times is impolite, right?

But I want to see them, so I go. I want to see them, so I pay. But when they don’t return the favor, I feel like it’s a one-sided relationship. They will hangout if I go there. They will hang out if I drive us. They want to see me, but they work these days, so I have to switch my hours so I can go see them.

It’s important to be nice. It’s important to love. There are things we can do for each other to bring happiness to the opposite person. But I feel like I am at the point where no one does anything for me anymore. This may seem greedy, maybe it is, but if anything is to change, I need to be honest with myself about how I really feel instead of slapping on excuses that my heart doesn’t fully feel. In Acts 20:35, it mentions that Jesus said “It is more blessed to give than to recieve.” Maybe one day I will be better at doing this fully, but I believe we also need to look out for ourselves. Luke 6:38 also says, “Give and it will be given to you..” Maybe I’m not looking close enough at what I’m being given. However, I’m not going to do anyone any good or be a truly good friend if I’m secretly grumbling to myself about how I feel like I’m being used.

I get it from my dad. Neither of us can say no, and we always end up doing the things that no one else wants to do. “If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.” Maybe. But I think there comes a point where some of us end up always doing everything and it puts us in a shallow mood. Instead of asking for gas money, maybe I should just say I can’t give them a ride this time. By not changing anything, nothing will change. Letting your irritations fester inside without letting others know how you feel can turn your heart bitter.

What was the last thing you did for someone? When was the last time someone has done something for you? Remember: Relationships are a two way street. Don’t let your heart become greedy, but don’t let it become bitter either.

Read Full Post »

I am going to write this now, in case I somehow receive a ton of money and become selfishly absorbed. As of this moment, I plan on making sure I don’t let myself make money or things a priority in my life. I don’t think we ever really intend to in the first place, but as we become absorbed with cell phones, we find that we want to spend money on the best and brightest. Ipods, laptops, sound systems, TVs, houses, cars, RVs, furniture,dogs, flowers, food, fridges, ovens, paintings, yada yada, yap yap. The list is endless with which you can be picky, spendy, greedy, stupid. There are shops full of stuff to buy that is pointless. You buy it because it’s funny, and then all of a sudden you have a box full of crap that you don’t even know what to do with. I’m afraid of becoming a hoarder, so if I buy less stuff, that is less likely to happen.

Now don’t get me wrong–things age and need to be replaced. I’m just saying buy what’s wise, not necessarily what’s hip and cool. One of my friends is a Coupon Queen, and that is a smart way to go if you give a little time and organization. 

But why I’m writing this, is because when I get older and have a family, I don’t know what my financial situation is going to be. I don’t know where I’ll be working, where I’ll be living, and I could either be just getting by or rolling in the big bucks. All I know, is that I don’t want to let it change me. Money is a material that can either be a tree in your mind or a dust bunny.

Think about it, we all have money trees. You go to work, make your money, give it back to the community when buying food for your family, donating to a cancer cause,  just to make it back to spend it again. A tree grows leaves, but can’t grow them back again until they are let go and given to the ground. 

But then some are hoarders of their money, dust bunnies. You may spend it, but it is things on yourself, and it keeps piling up either in your bank account or in your house. You may play in the stock market or casino, but what you win you bet again at the casino to get more.

It never gets better, because it blinds you into an obsession. Once you get more, you think you can get even more than that if you made it that far. It is just paper that can burn, plastic cards that can melt, yet these thin, material things swallow us whole. Once you’re in, it’s hard to pull yourself back out. 

If you feel the tug, take your Mom out and buy her lunch instead of letting her pay for you. Mow someone’s yard or babysit for free. When buying gas, surprise someone by buying theirs as well, or when in the drive-thru line, pay for the person behind you. These little acts of kindness not only bring a joy to your own heart, but they free you from the grip of money. You only need so much, the rest is just because you want it. Put some away in a savings account for college if you want, but don’t wrap yourself up in stuff. You don’t need to be at the casino every other day.

My parents never bought me video games because they didn’t want me spending all my time inside on them. I had Barbies and used my imagination and brought them to life. i ran around in fresh air and got muscle from helping my dad feed cows. I got my tan not from a tanning bed but from mowing the lawn and picking up hay bales from the field by hand. I learned patience from fishing with my dad and to work for what I want by getting a job instead of my parents paying for me.

Don’t let yourself or your kids get wrapped up in material things. There is a ton to do that doesn’t involve electronics. Teach yourself how to play the guitar because music is good for the soul. Pick up a pencil and try drawing a picture, even if you think you suck. No one has to see it but you. Go for a run in the fresh air or plant a vegetable garden so you don’t have to buy as much at the store. Get an old notebook and write a song or a poem. Turn off the TV and read a book. You use your imagination more when reading a book than watching what is shown to you on a screen. Go to a park and play fetch with your dog.

And remember this: If you don’t give now, what makes you think you’ll give later?

Live through life, not through money. 

Read Full Post »

I caught myself sitting on the sidelines today.

I was on Facebook looking through quotes on a page called “Truth Seekers.” Most of them were inspiring and I just wanted to keep reading. I pinned a bunch of them on my Pinterest and found myself looking through Pinterest at other inspiring quotes. They talked about truth and nature, about God and not letting others turn you into something you’re not. Some were about the government, and a few showed pictures of that one single person standing in front of a line of military trucks. Others talked about being the change we want to see in the world. I found myself nodding and smiling as if I agreed…

Yet here I sit on the computer, agreeing that something should be done.

And I repeat: Yet here I sit on the computer, going through Pinterest and Facebook.

I feel gifted that I can see life differently from others. I’ve learned to pay attention to the simple things. I feel a pull to help the suffering, yet at the moment I don’t have the motivation.

This annoys me to no end. It annoys me that I could be smarter than what I am, I would just rather be reading a fiction book than studying for my history test which involves real things that happened that I should know about. I find myself at times staring at the clock at work, waiting to leave when I forget that at least I have a job that pays for the bills and gas and could be using this time to brighten someone’s day or get to know someone new.

We forget. We aren’t motivated.

I think those are two of the biggest things we tend to struggle with. It’s not always that we don’t see the problems out there, though that tends to be a factor sometimes. But we would simply rather sit at home and let someone else do it.

But then nothing changes, because we all expect that someone else will do it.

We are lazy. We are complainers.

We would rather hear a lie that sounds like the truth, rather than hear the truth that hurts. We say we would rather know the truth, but there sure as hell is more lies being accepted and heard rather than the truth. Sometimes we don’t want to hear the truth, but it comes out eventually anyways, and then twice as many people become hurt.

We are greedy. We are beginning to love things more than people.

I looked at a stack of ones from when I waitressed the other day, and part of me wanted to rip them in half. Why do we fight over paper? Why do we think it will get us anywhere? Money evaporates into things we want instead of to people in need of help. Why are the people in the working class with little money giving more to organizations than people in the upper classes? Why do you need a mansion for one person? Do you feel better swimming in your indoor pool when the money you used on that new car could have gone to an orphanage where a kid is looking for a place to call home? They say unless we give when we have little, we are less likely to give when we have a lot. Money changed people, don’t let it change you. Do you really need a new shirt today? Maybe save it for college. Things get worn out, break. We use our money for things that bring short-term happiness. Stop looking for short-term and search for long-term. We are here to love people, not things, so use your money for people, not yourself.

If you don’t want to make change happen by yourself, then find someone to go with you. If not, then stop complaining. Nothing will change unless we make it change. Things tend to stay the same because people are too worried of their stupid reputations or being thought of as different. We would rather keep certain people in our lives rather than do what’s right or what needs to be done.

But I think we tend to forget this as well: Small things make big changes. Yes, we need people ding drastic things. But even if it’s not drastic, just do something. Volunteer at a pet shelter, study the government problems and educate others who aren’t informed on the struggles, volunteer at a women’s shelter, at an orphanage, donate money, give someone on the street a sandwich. They are small, but when we don’t know where to start, it is best to start somewhere doing something other than sitting on the couch. Just because the couch is comfy doesn’t mean it’s where we should be.

I refuse to be that person anymore. I may not know what I’m going to do yet, but I’ll figure it out. You can join me, or you can turn your back like everyone else. But just know that things only get worse when they go unsolved, unchanged, ignored.

Read Full Post »