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Posts Tagged ‘frustration’

This year I have heard the words “stop hiding” said to me a lot of situations that had to do with my views on things. I never saw it as hiding, but I do know I have fears regarding it. So I have made it a mission to be a little less fearful. This will be difficult on one side because my personality is an ISFJ, and I’m quite terrible at confrontation. So when I’ve talked about hard things, it’s usually through internet or texting. You don’t need to tell me how “pathetic” that may sound to some. But it’s the only way I could get myself to speak my mind about anything because I’m still learning to open my mouth when needed at the age of 23. I don’t intend to ever be someone who never stops talking once I find my voice. I’m a listener at heart. But when asked or when necessary, I’d like to find some small piece of confidence in the cramped spaces of my mind to speak what I know.

I’ve been told to stop hiding behind Christianity, to stop hiding behind my phone. But in a world that looks down upon you for having a different viewpoint than the person standing before you, or even the majority in general, it can be hard to want to speak up. Criticism and deep frowns either tend to cause more deep frowns or, in most of my cases, a caving in on oneself by feeling slightly ashamed while simultaneously not really swaying on what I believed to be true. The tone of one’s voice and the posture of one’s stance means a great deal. I am alert to emotion, and when some form relating to anger or irritation pull ahead, it becomes hard for me to find my words because I’d rather focus on calming the situation than answer the question.

There would be more discussion if the important topics were more approachable than they are now. There are the occasional few who may be set in their ways, but are willing to listen to what you have to say. But there are also those who are more interested in telling you what they have to say. Then there are others who would rather not talk about it at all and revert to changing the subject to surface level subjects. I “hid” behind the texts of my thoughts instead of using my voice because when I answer a text or after I’m done reading a text, I have time to catch my breath, to get a grip on my thoughts. My way of coping and of figuring out what I even have to say in the first place is through writing. So it looks like I’m hiding. And I think part of me was hiding. But the other part truly needs to write things out. This introverted mind of mine takes longer than the normal extrovert to answer questions or ideas through speech because my voice is not where my answers are. They are in my hands.

That does not mean I will never voice my opinions, thoughts, or views. It simply means I’m still learning how to answer in a way other than through forms of text. I don’t easily converse with people in general unless I know them, so conversing about deeper subjects takes even more effort.

This is a harsh world sometimes, and I don’t expect to be craddled. I just know that it is taking me time to step onto the battlefield. So have some patience with those who may be similar to me. Frown a little less, and maybe we will be more willing to answer you. Use a few less harsh words, and maybe you will help us find the confidence we need.

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Frustration is a pain in the ass. Not necessarily the things that make us frustrated, but frustration in general. Not everyone is frustrated by the same things. Some people get frustrated by things that others don’t, which is why it is frustration that is frustrating. Wouldn’t you love a life that didn’t have any frustration? That you could accept everything that happens, maybe do some crying, but move on from there without going through the anger stage?

Frustration leads to anger, anger leads us to doing harmful things or saying hurtful things. At the high point, we would all love it if we could just give up and call it quits because that would be easier. Committing suicide would be easier. Maybe suicides were just tired of their problems and wanted them to end. Just think, you’d never have to work, never have to pay bills, never have to get stuck in rush hour traffic again…But we are all still needed here. You are still needed here, whether you know it or not.

The tests of life come at us at every age. Maybe the fan’s shit is hitting you like a baseball pitching machine. Maybe right now you’re good at dodging. But one of these days, you will get hit. Trust me. It won’t be pretty, but you have to know it’s coming. It all depends on how you handle the situation.

I am studying abroad in Italy for three months for the spring semester, and just when I think that after twenty documents and ten people I’ve talked to that I might actually be done. Now I find out that the times on my flight schedule don’t line up, travel insurance that I’ve already paid for hasn’t gone through, and my advisor never gave the “okay” for my classes to go through, though I had already met up and talked with her about them. It seems to be one thing after another, and I am getting so frustrated I wish I could just call off the trip. I am definitely never doing this again. The planning is too much of a headache.

Yes, it’ll be “worth it” once I’m over there, but I’m sure even in your moments of frustration, it is extremely hard to think about what you’re working towards when the present problems are kicking your ass with both feet.

But I’m not going to tell you to close your eyes and breathe. I’m not going to tell you to calm down, because the minute someone tells me to calm down, I want to punch them in the face.

What I will tell you is push aside whatever you are doing for at least a couple minutes, and go watch an episode of your favorite show. Stick in your ear buds and listen to some music. Go buy a sandwich or play a video game. Get away from whatever is frustrating you,  and get your head back on straight before you approach it again.

I know that I will not have the patience to be put on hold for another ten minutes with the airline, so I have decided to call them back tomorrow when I will be more willing to deal with it. Do whatever it is you need to do so you don’t feel like giving up. Frustration is a bitch, and it will take you up in flames if you don’t find ways to deal with your strengths and weaknesses. I am off to watch an episode of “Bones” with my sister so I can get my mind lost in a life that isn’t mine.

Just please don’t give up. Even on life. In the moment, you may not give a shit, but later on you will. Get some air and do what you need to do that doesn’t involve tying a noose. Or quitting your job. Or giving up on a marriage. God never puts you in a position that you can’t handle. Believe in yourself.

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I am a waitress in a restaurant. I’ve worked there two years as a Hostess and finally this summer I’m now a waitress. Whether you know this already or not, let me give you a couple tips, because it will help me to get out my frustrations. (No offense to the guys, but it will make this easier if I use “waitress/hostess” for everything, so you can mentally put waiter in there if you like):

1. When you are asked if you prefer a booth or a table, the best answer you could give to the hostess is “It doesn’t matter, wherever you need us.” You have no idea how irritating it is for the hostess when you won’t sit where she needs you to sit just because you want a booth by the window instead of being nice and accepting a table. The more picky you are, the more likely it is that the waitresses get double sat. Then, the waitresses come up to the hostesses and complain because they are either getting too many tables in a row, or the others who aren’t being sat come up to us and complain because we aren’t seating them. Trust me, it is easier to give better service when you are given a waitress who actually has the time to take care of you because you are letting the hostesses follow the seating list.

2. Which brings me to number two…more like one and a half. I have gotten so many people that when i am looking around the restaurant at sections to seat people, the customers point to a booth nearby and say in a snotty voice “there’s a booth right there.” Yes, Thank you Captain Obvious. Good thing you were here or I would not have seen the booth staring me right in the fricken face. We know. Restaurants have sections. We are looking through sections to see whose turn it is to be seated; so be patient and give us a second to give you a seat whose waitress will be happy to see you. We are already putting up with crabby customers, and we don’t need you adding to our irritation levels by acting like we are don’t know how to do our jobs. We know the restaurant better than you.

3. Yes, you are the paying customer, but please don’t act like you are the only table that your waitress has. Sometimes when it gets busy, your waitress has desserts to make, prep work for food, tables to wash, busing dishes, orders to type in…it’s not like we are ignoring you. If there’s something you want or at least think you will want, tell her while she is at the table. I have gotten so many people that will ask for one thing, then when i come back, they will ask for another…I’ll come back again and they will ask for another. We don’t have that much spare time. Tell us everything right away so we can get it written down and get on to our other tables. If you can live without it, just let it be. If you have never worked in a kitchen, waitresses have a lot more to do than you think. Yes, I’ll agree some are just plain bad and don’t care about the customers…but don’t take it out on those that are actually trying.

4. Be a generous tipper. Some of waitresses I work with, their bills depend on those tips. A lot of people get lucky with their jobs, but some of them just didn’t, and they need whatever you can give them. I’m not saying give them your checkbook balance, but maybe instead of $2, give them $4 or $5. Every little bit helps, trust me. If you can tell she was trying, then give her what she deserves. Some of us put our hearts into making sure you are happy, and then when you’re smiling and saying everything was wonderful…and then you give a $2 tip…well, it’s really disappointing. Especially when it’s slower in the restaurant, tip a little nicer, for that waitress might not be making much because of the slowness of the day.

5. Whether you believe us or not, we want you to enjoy your food and come back again, so if for whatever reason your food may seem a little cold, as politely as you can, let them know so they can fix it. We get a lot of people who are already bitching and complaining at us. Some polite manners is a wonderful change. Plus, when you are more polite, we feel more willing to help you. When you tell us to hurry it up, you can bet the waitresses will feel like taking their time just to piss you off since you pissed off your waitress. Be nice. She’s trying, and sometimes things don’t go the way we were hoping them to.

I don’t remember where I heard this, but I was told that everyone should have a job serving people, like a job in a hotel or restaurant, because once you get a feel for what it’s like, you are much more understanding. If you haven’t worked in one, try and see it from our point of view.

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