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I prefer to read fiction over nonfiction. This has seemed strange to me. As I get older, some of my friends drift away from fiction and dive into nonfiction, but my love of fiction is stronger than ever. Why wouldn’t I prefer to read a real story? A story of a life whom I could meet in person if that person was still alive?

I think I’m starting to figure out why.

Fiction sometimes feels more real to me. The dialogue, the specificities in colors and images of what the characters see or do…some of that is hard to remember for a nonfiction story. There are images writers create in nonfiction that you don’t usually find in fiction because it’s coming from a real memory. But other than that, it doesn’t matter to me that fiction is false because the ideas behind the story are probably mostly true, depending on the story. Some things or feelings that happen to the characters in fiction stories we can either relate to or at least understand.

But it goes deeper than that. I feel like when I read nonfiction, I am getting told the story from someone else, even if it is written in first person. I already have it in my head that this story is true, therefore I give my mind space from it. It’s still a good story, but that life was already lived, is already taken.

But fiction stories are basically up for grabs. In fiction, I can insert myself into the story and allow myself to be that character.  I am the legs running through the trees; I am holding on to the back of a dragon; I am the one crying as I hold my dead, fake sister.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I am quite a lucky kid when looking at the big picture, but I have my days like everyone else. Sometimes I want to be anywhere but here, but then I don’t have the gas to go anywhere. I may not make it to New York, but I can read about a character who lives in New York. For me, reading fiction is the cheapest vacation. Emotion moves us, changes us, and I have dug through more emotions in just a few fiction books I’ve read than all of the nonfiction ones put together. I crave emotion—whether it’s anger, fear, sadness, happiness, hope—because to feel anything is to feel alive. In the low, dull moments of my life I can be soaring. I don’t necessarily like being angry or feel like my heart is breaking, but I’ll take anything over nothing at all.

That’s why I love the writing world. Writing isn’t just a world filled with words, but it’s also a world filled with emotion. The way we can use words to stir up something inside people is fascinating to me.

In life, you can’t be everything (there’s not enough time). But through a story, you can be anything. 

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This time of year, everywhere inside is an ice box that I’d feel more comfortable in if I were wearing a sweatshirt. I walk outside and I wish it was morally acceptable to walk around campus in a swimsuit. 

Why is everything either all the way to one side, or all the way to the other? 

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I have wondered about this the past few “apocalypses.”

If you are, why are you afraid?

Are you afraid to die? Do you really think that life on Earth is going to be better than life in heaven? Is it because you want to sin some more before you go to heaven? Do you think you will even go to heaven? What makes you think so? Do you know not everyone will?

Do you even believe in heaven or hell? Do you think this is all there is? We live and die and then we are erased? Or do you believe in reincarnation? If so, you’ll have another life again anyway, although I don’t believe in reincarnation.

If you are afraid of going to hell, then maybe you should take a look at what you are doing with your life. One day, you will be forgotten, because everyone who knows you will eventually die too. A lot of people get upset by this fact, but I don’t see why. Why do you need to be remembered by mere humans? Famous people become used by others, because most humans are always thinking about themselves, not you. This is how you get fake friends, fake love, fake respect. People like your looks, your money, your mind…but honestly, they don’t really care about you. And these are the people you want to remember you? Because once you are gone, they move on to a new idol.

The One who knows your name, your faults, fears and pain, your likes and dislikes, the One who has always watched over you, remembers you, the only One who can throw you in hell or bring you to heaven…is the One that is ignored.

We all want to think of God as this guy who loves everything and everyone all the time, sunshine and daisy man. We almost think of Him as a pushover…Yes, God loves us, but there is a reason that the people who love and follow Him also have a healthy fear of Him. We understand what He can do to us, what one day He will have to do to some whom have overcome their hearts with self-love and sin….He will have to throw them into the fire. We are all sinful people, but it’s the ones who want to overcome sin, who choose God over sin, that God wants in His kingdom.

Are you overcome with self-love? Are you one of the people who joke saying, “I might as well live it up and party hard since I’m going to hell anyway.” I used to joke about hell, but it is not a place to joke about. We can imagine whatever we want, but it’ll never come close to the real thing. We know nothing of suffering. No one.

But then stuff like that makes people afraid of hell and Satan. I used to be one of those people too. But like I said, you are only going to hell if you don’t pass through Jesus. He’s the One who died for you, so He’s the One whom will get you in to heaven. Satan will do everything he can to scare you, to get you to sin because sinning is easy. But that’s all Satan can do–scare you. You make your own choice to sin. Why are you afraid of Satan, when God is throwing him along with Satan’s followers into the pit?

God is above everything. When Lucifer wanted God to use His power to control us, God said no. Do you even realize how amazing that is? The gift of free will? The ability to choose? God does not want to control His loved ones, He wants us to willingly choose Him before He brings us to His kingdom. This life is our test. He wants us to live and be happy here the best we can, but sin is not happiness. If it were, He would not throw it in the pit.

I am not trying to preach at you, and if that’s how it feels, I really am sorry. I just want to know why you are afraid to die, when you know you will be dying eventually anyway. This is not the world God wants for us anymore, because it was taken hold of by sin when we chose to disobey Him with the apple. The only rule He had, we broke. But He wants to give us a re-do. He doesn’t want to destroy us, but God is not tame. He does what He has to, because He will not tolerate sin in His kingdom, just like you may not want to tolerate screaming and whiny kids in your house.

But when we strip ourselves of the layers of greed and grudges, of lust and hate, of violence and acting like we are above one another…when we decide that living for Him is more fulfilling than living for ourselves…when we realize just how in the wrong we are, and we ask God to forgive us though we have no reason to deserve such a blessing…that is when we let God into our hearts. That is when He forgives us for our sin because He loves us. He doesn’t need us, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t want us.

I’m sure there’s arguments about this post, and if you would like to discuss anything, feel free to email me–you will find my email on the right side of the page under “Need to Chat Privately”…but I hope you will at least think about some of the things I’ve said. Are you afraid to die? Email me why.

In case some of you don’t know or just forgot….humanity will never know when the world will end. So you can stop buying the “End of the World Survival Guides” and stocking up on dozens of packs of water and food, because you are wasting your time, your money, and adding more pimples and worry lines than you need. When the world does end, none of us are getting out of it alive, so you might as well just settle down and go spend time with your family instead.

Death is not meant to be a frightening thing. It is simply the end of one thing to make room for a new beginning somewhere else. If you are afraid, maybe you should look inside yourself to see why you are afraid.

I, for one, will wait patiently on the Lord until He calls me home. I pray my family will come with me, but when I meet Jesus face to face, I will forget everything else, because nothing else will matter. In a way, I am excited to die. But I believe God keeps us on Earth until our time is up. To kill ourselves before He wants us gone is almost an insult. I pray if things are rough for you right now, that you take it day by day. Ask God for guidance, because He wants to guide you. He will never lead you in to something you can’t handle…but when we ignore His voice and drag ourselves into a pit of misery, we only have ourselves to blame. But to bring yourself out of that, you need to let Him lead you. Satan wants to take over your mind, but God does not enter our hearts until we allow Him in, because we have to choose to let Him in.

–Matthew 24:36 “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.”

–Luke 21:36 “But stay awake at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are going to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.”

Peace and Blessings everyone.

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