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Posts Tagged ‘death’

It doesn’t bother me that I’m going to die someday. But I’m already tearful at the thought of having to be at the funerals of people I love before I come to my own. But great loss can only come from great love. And great love is worth every tear.

Sometimes I’m afraid to love because to love someone means to give in to a vulnerability that gives them the option of hurting me, whether that means leaving me or dying. But as terrifying as vulnerability is, we can’t be fully happy or even fully ourselves without it. Walls come down one way or another, we just get the option of taking them down ourselves or having them crash around us in ashes.

Be wise with whom you open yourself to, but make sure there is at least someone in your life you can be vulnerable with. It will eventually lead to loss, but you will have great loss anyway if you never give yourself the chance to experience great love. A life without love is empty.

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I was reading in 2 Corinthians today and I came across a verse that I feel like writing about. Please don’t let that scare you away. Maybe you’ll find it interesting.

2 Corinthians 5:6 says “Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.”

Paul was just talking about how we are confident not in ourselves, but in God. No one can stand against God, so if He is on our side, no one can stop us.

Anyway, this verse hit me because for a moment I was confused. It seemed like it had been saying that we shouldn’t feel happy here. Now I have a different look on it.

This world is not our home. It is a waiting place until we reach our real home. Some will call theirs heaven, some will call theirs hell. We aren’t supposed to want to stay here. The more comfortable you are with the world and do what the world does, the farther you allow yourself to be away from God because this is not the world God wants for us. We allowed Satan to take over so we have allowed chaos to happen to us.

A friend once told me, “For those going to heaven, this is the closest to hell they’ll ever see. For those going to hell, this is the closest to heaven they’ll ever see.” God wants people who want to be with Him. He’d never force someone to be with Him, which is why there is Free Will. The absence of God is hell. It’s not that He wants to send people there; it’s that they wanted to be on their own, and you will find yourself falling into more and more holes when you don’t allow God into your life. There will always be a space that you can’t fill because it’s a space that belongs to God, since we are made from Him.

Everyone will have some sort of suffering or trial in their lives. Multiple. But your faith isn’t tested when your happy and living well. It is tested through trials to see how you handle situations when there are bumps in the road.

So find someone to spend your life with, make a family, find a job. . .but don’t think that this is the best it’ll ever be. I am not afraid to die because where I’m going will be better than this place can ever be. I hope you find the same hope as well. 

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“Often we cleave to things because they possess heavy negative charges. Pain has strong arms.” –Patricia Hampl

Painful memories can be as aggressive as the wind.

I was best friends with a girl from Kindergarten till sixth grade. She was slowly pulling away like silly putty in the fifth grade, but I didn’t realize it till years later. One day after school on the bus, she handed me a note. A few words still stick clearly in my mind like gum on the bottom of a desk: “I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”

Though I have watched my sister lose many friends over big fights, I had never lost a friend straight out of the toaster like that, and haven’t since. 

Through Jr. High she built up a reputation as one of the cool kids, and by High School she was one of the most popular girls in the class, listed in the yearbook as “Most likely to become a gold digger” along with others of the sort. As I had watched her de-pants others in the hall and become a Witch with a capital “B,” I decided I didn’t need a friend who’s wardrobe took on a whole new meaning of  the word “easy.” Still, that note bothers me to this day.

I believe that our hardest critic is ourselves. Maybe that’s why we cling to pain. We usually settle for what we think we deserve, when in reality we probably deserve higher than we give ourselves credit for. But then we are hurt by those we glued to ourselves—maybe they get up and leave or die—and we cling to the pain because it is the only reminder we have left of them. Friends and family help us spew out excuses of “new beginnings” like a rip in a water hose, but once we are alone we admit the truth to ourselves. We wonder what we did wrong.

So if we can’t have love, we settle for pain. Feeling something is better than feeling nothing, because at least if we are in pain, we can punch a wall, we can soak our pillows, we can buckle over and wait for the cat claws in our stomachs to subside. Even if it is a little thing, we feel something.

Eventually everyone we care about and love will be gone. However, we know that we have to eventually expect that kind of loss. But the kind of pain that we don’t see coming, that can sometimes be the pain with the strongest arms. 

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I was flipping through facebook pictures of a classmate we lost 2 and a half years ago and couldn’t help thinking back to the last time I had seen her before she died, her funeral.

I remember the line of people at her wake that stretched out the church doors and down the gravel road. The sobs that grew like a coming car as new people stepped in front of her casket, needing to look away, yet not wanting to. 

Fresh notes tack onto her Facebook wall every now and then when a memory is sparked in the mind of a friend. Words of fun and laughter, always ending with an “I miss you.”

I didn’t know her well, and even I am trying to hold back tears. She was so loved by everyone. And that was because she loved everyone. She was only 20, but she affected more people around her than many ever do in a lifetime.

It made me think—when I die, what message am I leaving? Who would I be remembered as? Am I pointing people in the direction of love as much as I am in the direction of God? Will I be remembered as the optimistic one who was there for others, or the pessimistic one who complained?

As this world gets worse, I want to strive to be someone who gives people hope, makes people laugh, reminds them how much I care. I want to leave a legacy. Strive in your own life to leave behind the memory of someone who cared. 

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We’re all waiting for something.
Sit with a coffee at the airport and guess who will stand up when someone walks through the door.

We are all lazy in something.
Wait in the frozen food section and see who picks out the pizzas and frozen alfredo.

We all have something that makes us happy.
See the girl sitting on the top suitcase of an airport cart,
the joy on her face as her father pushes her. The Simplicity.

Live while you’re waiting, even in the small things,
otherwise you are simply waiting to die.

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No one should be forgotten.

I think that once we die, we think that we will simply become another snowflake on the ground among the rest of the dead. But I think we need to remember that we are remembered by those who matter.

Do you really need to be remembered by someone who only knows your name? Sure we can name off presidents, famous serial killers, famous inventors. But does it satisfy you to simply be remembered by your name? If they would actually become so interested to look up information, all they would know are facts. They would never know you, so wouldn’t you basically be “forgotten” anyway?

After a time, everyone who knows you will die too. But just because your name may not come up in conversation anymore, that one day tears will stop falling for you, that people will pass by your gravestone to get to someone else’s because no one knows who you are anymore, doesn’t mean you have been erased.

All of us leave a little piece of ourselves when we leave. No matter how small, or even how meaningless it may be to some people, we have all left our mark on the world. The world will never forget your presence, even if the people may.

For me, I do not feel the need to be remembered because I have faith about where I will go once this life has passed. I know that it will be more beautiful, more loving, and happier than this world could ever be. I do not care to be remembered in a world of death and destruction from which sin has taken over.

I will be patient for my death, but I am not afraid of it. But I also won’t waste my time.

Start leaving pieces of yourself in the minds of your friends and family. Leave pieces of advice that you have learned or pass on something that you treasure to someone whom you know will keep it safe and will pass down to others.

Trust me, my friends. The white lights of heaven will make you forget about everything that ever happened on earth. You are remembered by God, and He matters much more than any human in the world.

You will never be forgotten.

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I have wondered about this the past few “apocalypses.”

If you are, why are you afraid?

Are you afraid to die? Do you really think that life on Earth is going to be better than life in heaven? Is it because you want to sin some more before you go to heaven? Do you think you will even go to heaven? What makes you think so? Do you know not everyone will?

Do you even believe in heaven or hell? Do you think this is all there is? We live and die and then we are erased? Or do you believe in reincarnation? If so, you’ll have another life again anyway, although I don’t believe in reincarnation.

If you are afraid of going to hell, then maybe you should take a look at what you are doing with your life. One day, you will be forgotten, because everyone who knows you will eventually die too. A lot of people get upset by this fact, but I don’t see why. Why do you need to be remembered by mere humans? Famous people become used by others, because most humans are always thinking about themselves, not you. This is how you get fake friends, fake love, fake respect. People like your looks, your money, your mind…but honestly, they don’t really care about you. And these are the people you want to remember you? Because once you are gone, they move on to a new idol.

The One who knows your name, your faults, fears and pain, your likes and dislikes, the One who has always watched over you, remembers you, the only One who can throw you in hell or bring you to heaven…is the One that is ignored.

We all want to think of God as this guy who loves everything and everyone all the time, sunshine and daisy man. We almost think of Him as a pushover…Yes, God loves us, but there is a reason that the people who love and follow Him also have a healthy fear of Him. We understand what He can do to us, what one day He will have to do to some whom have overcome their hearts with self-love and sin….He will have to throw them into the fire. We are all sinful people, but it’s the ones who want to overcome sin, who choose God over sin, that God wants in His kingdom.

Are you overcome with self-love? Are you one of the people who joke saying, “I might as well live it up and party hard since I’m going to hell anyway.” I used to joke about hell, but it is not a place to joke about. We can imagine whatever we want, but it’ll never come close to the real thing. We know nothing of suffering. No one.

But then stuff like that makes people afraid of hell and Satan. I used to be one of those people too. But like I said, you are only going to hell if you don’t pass through Jesus. He’s the One who died for you, so He’s the One whom will get you in to heaven. Satan will do everything he can to scare you, to get you to sin because sinning is easy. But that’s all Satan can do–scare you. You make your own choice to sin. Why are you afraid of Satan, when God is throwing him along with Satan’s followers into the pit?

God is above everything. When Lucifer wanted God to use His power to control us, God said no. Do you even realize how amazing that is? The gift of free will? The ability to choose? God does not want to control His loved ones, He wants us to willingly choose Him before He brings us to His kingdom. This life is our test. He wants us to live and be happy here the best we can, but sin is not happiness. If it were, He would not throw it in the pit.

I am not trying to preach at you, and if that’s how it feels, I really am sorry. I just want to know why you are afraid to die, when you know you will be dying eventually anyway. This is not the world God wants for us anymore, because it was taken hold of by sin when we chose to disobey Him with the apple. The only rule He had, we broke. But He wants to give us a re-do. He doesn’t want to destroy us, but God is not tame. He does what He has to, because He will not tolerate sin in His kingdom, just like you may not want to tolerate screaming and whiny kids in your house.

But when we strip ourselves of the layers of greed and grudges, of lust and hate, of violence and acting like we are above one another…when we decide that living for Him is more fulfilling than living for ourselves…when we realize just how in the wrong we are, and we ask God to forgive us though we have no reason to deserve such a blessing…that is when we let God into our hearts. That is when He forgives us for our sin because He loves us. He doesn’t need us, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t want us.

I’m sure there’s arguments about this post, and if you would like to discuss anything, feel free to email me–you will find my email on the right side of the page under “Need to Chat Privately”…but I hope you will at least think about some of the things I’ve said. Are you afraid to die? Email me why.

In case some of you don’t know or just forgot….humanity will never know when the world will end. So you can stop buying the “End of the World Survival Guides” and stocking up on dozens of packs of water and food, because you are wasting your time, your money, and adding more pimples and worry lines than you need. When the world does end, none of us are getting out of it alive, so you might as well just settle down and go spend time with your family instead.

Death is not meant to be a frightening thing. It is simply the end of one thing to make room for a new beginning somewhere else. If you are afraid, maybe you should look inside yourself to see why you are afraid.

I, for one, will wait patiently on the Lord until He calls me home. I pray my family will come with me, but when I meet Jesus face to face, I will forget everything else, because nothing else will matter. In a way, I am excited to die. But I believe God keeps us on Earth until our time is up. To kill ourselves before He wants us gone is almost an insult. I pray if things are rough for you right now, that you take it day by day. Ask God for guidance, because He wants to guide you. He will never lead you in to something you can’t handle…but when we ignore His voice and drag ourselves into a pit of misery, we only have ourselves to blame. But to bring yourself out of that, you need to let Him lead you. Satan wants to take over your mind, but God does not enter our hearts until we allow Him in, because we have to choose to let Him in.

–Matthew 24:36 “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.”

–Luke 21:36 “But stay awake at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are going to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.”

Peace and Blessings everyone.

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