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Posts Tagged ‘break’

I caught myself sitting on the sidelines today.

I was on Facebook looking through quotes on a page called “Truth Seekers.” Most of them were inspiring and I just wanted to keep reading. I pinned a bunch of them on my Pinterest and found myself looking through Pinterest at other inspiring quotes. They talked about truth and nature, about God and not letting others turn you into something you’re not. Some were about the government, and a few showed pictures of that one single person standing in front of a line of military trucks. Others talked about being the change we want to see in the world. I found myself nodding and smiling as if I agreed…

Yet here I sit on the computer, agreeing that something should be done.

And I repeat: Yet here I sit on the computer, going through Pinterest and Facebook.

I feel gifted that I can see life differently from others. I’ve learned to pay attention to the simple things. I feel a pull to help the suffering, yet at the moment I don’t have the motivation.

This annoys me to no end. It annoys me that I could be smarter than what I am, I would just rather be reading a fiction book than studying for my history test which involves real things that happened that I should know about. I find myself at times staring at the clock at work, waiting to leave when I forget that at least I have a job that pays for the bills and gas and could be using this time to brighten someone’s day or get to know someone new.

We forget. We aren’t motivated.

I think those are two of the biggest things we tend to struggle with. It’s not always that we don’t see the problems out there, though that tends to be a factor sometimes. But we would simply rather sit at home and let someone else do it.

But then nothing changes, because we all expect that someone else will do it.

We are lazy. We are complainers.

We would rather hear a lie that sounds like the truth, rather than hear the truth that hurts. We say we would rather know the truth, but there sure as hell is more lies being accepted and heard rather than the truth. Sometimes we don’t want to hear the truth, but it comes out eventually anyways, and then twice as many people become hurt.

We are greedy. We are beginning to love things more than people.

I looked at a stack of ones from when I waitressed the other day, and part of me wanted to rip them in half. Why do we fight over paper? Why do we think it will get us anywhere? Money evaporates into things we want instead of to people in need of help. Why are the people in the working class with little money giving more to organizations than people in the upper classes? Why do you need a mansion for one person? Do you feel better swimming in your indoor pool when the money you used on that new car could have gone to an orphanage where a kid is looking for a place to call home? They say unless we give when we have little, we are less likely to give when we have a lot. Money changed people, don’t let it change you. Do you really need a new shirt today? Maybe save it for college. Things get worn out, break. We use our money for things that bring short-term happiness. Stop looking for short-term and search for long-term. We are here to love people, not things, so use your money for people, not yourself.

If you don’t want to make change happen by yourself, then find someone to go with you. If not, then stop complaining. Nothing will change unless we make it change. Things tend to stay the same because people are too worried of their stupid reputations or being thought of as different. We would rather keep certain people in our lives rather than do what’s right or what needs to be done.

But I think we tend to forget this as well: Small things make big changes. Yes, we need people ding drastic things. But even if it’s not drastic, just do something. Volunteer at a pet shelter, study the government problems and educate others who aren’t informed on the struggles, volunteer at a women’s shelter, at an orphanage, donate money, give someone on the street a sandwich. They are small, but when we don’t know where to start, it is best to start somewhere doing something other than sitting on the couch. Just because the couch is comfy doesn’t mean it’s where we should be.

I refuse to be that person anymore. I may not know what I’m going to do yet, but I’ll figure it out. You can join me, or you can turn your back like everyone else. But just know that things only get worse when they go unsolved, unchanged, ignored.

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Frustration is a pain in the ass. Not necessarily the things that make us frustrated, but frustration in general. Not everyone is frustrated by the same things. Some people get frustrated by things that others don’t, which is why it is frustration that is frustrating. Wouldn’t you love a life that didn’t have any frustration? That you could accept everything that happens, maybe do some crying, but move on from there without going through the anger stage?

Frustration leads to anger, anger leads us to doing harmful things or saying hurtful things. At the high point, we would all love it if we could just give up and call it quits because that would be easier. Committing suicide would be easier. Maybe suicides were just tired of their problems and wanted them to end. Just think, you’d never have to work, never have to pay bills, never have to get stuck in rush hour traffic again…But we are all still needed here. You are still needed here, whether you know it or not.

The tests of life come at us at every age. Maybe the fan’s shit is hitting you like a baseball pitching machine. Maybe right now you’re good at dodging. But one of these days, you will get hit. Trust me. It won’t be pretty, but you have to know it’s coming. It all depends on how you handle the situation.

I am studying abroad in Italy for three months for the spring semester, and just when I think that after twenty documents and ten people I’ve talked to that I might actually be done. Now I find out that the times on my flight schedule don’t line up, travel insurance that I’ve already paid for hasn’t gone through, and my advisor never gave the “okay” for my classes to go through, though I had already met up and talked with her about them. It seems to be one thing after another, and I am getting so frustrated I wish I could just call off the trip. I am definitely never doing this again. The planning is too much of a headache.

Yes, it’ll be “worth it” once I’m over there, but I’m sure even in your moments of frustration, it is extremely hard to think about what you’re working towards when the present problems are kicking your ass with both feet.

But I’m not going to tell you to close your eyes and breathe. I’m not going to tell you to calm down, because the minute someone tells me to calm down, I want to punch them in the face.

What I will tell you is push aside whatever you are doing for at least a couple minutes, and go watch an episode of your favorite show. Stick in your ear buds and listen to some music. Go buy a sandwich or play a video game. Get away from whatever is frustrating you,  and get your head back on straight before you approach it again.

I know that I will not have the patience to be put on hold for another ten minutes with the airline, so I have decided to call them back tomorrow when I will be more willing to deal with it. Do whatever it is you need to do so you don’t feel like giving up. Frustration is a bitch, and it will take you up in flames if you don’t find ways to deal with your strengths and weaknesses. I am off to watch an episode of “Bones” with my sister so I can get my mind lost in a life that isn’t mine.

Just please don’t give up. Even on life. In the moment, you may not give a shit, but later on you will. Get some air and do what you need to do that doesn’t involve tying a noose. Or quitting your job. Or giving up on a marriage. God never puts you in a position that you can’t handle. Believe in yourself.

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I’m running out of money to buy coffee from Starbucks or Caribou, and I forgot to bring my coffee maker from home, so I have succumbed to the free coffee that came from church after the service.

As I sip from the flimsy white paper cup, I smile as I watch someone from the window of our college library smack a snowball onto the back of his friend, bursting into a firework. Homemade snowflakes decorate the inside of the window, and I’m tempted to take one down and fold it back up so I can see how they cut it out. I have never been creative with snowflake cutting. Mine become deformed shapes that are barely symmetrical.

Only four days of finals left till Christmas break, and I have been so ready to go home. But for small things, such as the gorgeous view from this window that overlooks the main square of my college covered in snow, I am going to miss it very much. Back home, I am not as close to a library as I am here, and there is a Barns and Noble just a 7 minute drive away, whereas back home the closest one is almost an hour away.

Though I am stressed about finals and want to see my parents, I am going to miss this place. I am studying abroad in Italy next semester, so I won’t even have anymore classes here till next fall.

Though Christmas time is coming, and I am sure you are all planning your Christmas dinners, finding cookie and pie recipes that your mother-in-law will approve of, finishing finals, buying last minute Christmas presents for people you feel obligated to buy for, or even starting to buy presents like me, take a little time to relax for a minute. Pimples have been popping up lately on my face, but it is kind of my own fault because I haven’t been using my time wisely.

You may be stressed now, but one day your kids will be moved out. If you are the kid, you will be moved out of your parents and having Christmas with your own family. Maybe you will move a couple hours away and might not make it home for Christmas next year. In the spring, I will be across the world and won’t be able to spend Easter with my family, so I’m going to use this time now to spend with them.

If you hustle and bustle everyday until Christmas, then be running and organizing all day on Christmas…before you know it, it will be over, and you might not even have enjoyed yourself much. You don’t need to buy expensive stuff all the time. It is okay to save some of your paycheck for next week’s bills.

Take this day, this week, this holiday to remember the things you are blessed with. This holiday is not about getting what you want, or leaving cookies for Santa. Thanksgiving may be over, but Christmas is a time of giving, and even in this time we need to thank God for everything He has given us, for the money and jobs that we can afford to give to others.

Have a good Sunday everyone 🙂

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Sometimes shadows only disappear until you bring them to the light. But, what I think we sometimes forget, is that the shadow doesn’t always disappear, but instead just MOVES. When you fix one struggle, another is going to pop up. Guarenteed. But the awesome thing is, is that you are in control of the light. A shadow is as see-through as glass when your light is bright. But when you dim that light with worry, fear, frustration, and anger, the shadows become blacker than the bottom of the sea. If they come, then it is possible for them to go away, but only if you make them. No shadow can defeat the light, so why are you running scared?

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